The Ghana-Johannesburg-Stanley Park Triangle

Dearies, recently received a heartwarming  email invitation from a gender-confused Mrs. Nomalanga, housewife and federal minister. Am sharing our correspondance here and hope that it will provide you with the same sense of wonder and hysteria that it has me….
Please see my asides in pink. These are not included in my replies to Mr/Mrs. Nomalanga
Good day. In my search for a reliable foreign partner I had seen your activicties on
the internet and with your profile and personality, I gave it a deep thought before deciding to write you this mail. Dearie, if you had really done any research, you would never address me as Sir
I would want you to could help me with investment in your country.
I am Mr’s I sense a bit of gender-identity crisis here Naledi J.Nomalanga, a Ghanian based in Johannesburg, I hold an important position in the federal ministry. I intend to move some funds which is a proceed of an inflated contract valued $14.5M USDollars for investment purpose abroad, specifically on property investment, for this reason i needed a foreign partner to assist me provide a foreign coporate bank account, free from any form of tax embargo to receive the funds, and afterwards help me with the investment. Your interest would be duly protected in form of a legalized agreement before we commence, all i require is your sincerity to handle this transaction without exposing me.
The funds in question do not originate from any mischevious means Dearies, I presume you mean this is NOT a SCAM, lol but from my entitlement in a job that i approved under my ministry. It is 100% risk free. However due to my official position I am not entitled to posses this funds in my country. I will give you details of this transaction upon your positive response.
Note that if things goes positive and we reach a common understanding, i may be delegating a representative to your country before arrival of the funds.
Please I am a house wife, for this reason kindly help me keep this information very confidential as any disclosure to unconcerned person will jeopardise my job and put my family name and credibility in Doubt As if they ever were...
I look forward to your prompt response.
Best Regards
Mr’s A bit confused here, are we?Naledi J.Nomalanga
Miss Myrtle Responds…
Mrs. Nomalanga Dearie,

Am so thrilled to make your acquaintance. 
It is not often that a person of such substantive standing, would contact little old me.
As a housewife, holding an important position in the federal ministry, you must find little time for family, while multi-tasking. Lord knows…
Discretion is of the utmost importance,fully understand and respect that.
I would be honoured, nay very happy to assist you in achieving your investment goals.
Pray tell, how do I do so?
Promptly Yours,
Miss Myrtle
Mrs. Nomalanga.Responds
Dear Miss Myrtle

Thanks for your prompt response, the contents has been noted.
Please in the first place, i would like to know if you are capable of handling this project, could you provide a viable bank account free from any embargo that can accommodate the figure i mentioned in my previous mail, afterwards you  assist me with investment in your country, specifically commercial property??. 
On the comment you made regarding my family, they are my first priority which i dont compromise with nothing. I have 2 lovely boys and a girl, whom are really special to me.
Can i please know a bit about yourself as we proceed, your marital status etc. This is very important to me, because this is my life time project and would like to realise this transaction with a reliable and upright person who would not have ulterior motive, take advantage of my vulnerable position, expose my interest or jeopardise my job. This is my greatest concern.
Note that if we come to a common understanding, your interest would be duly protected and documented before we commence.
I look forward to your prompt response.
Best regards
Mrs Naledi Nomalanga.
Miss Myrtle Responds
 Mrs.Nomalanga Dearie,
Thank you for your heartwarming response.
Am weeping with laughter as I read it.
I do have a viable bank account overdrawn at this very moment free of embargos, that would be able to handle large transactions of the magnitude you indicated, with no problem.
Am sad to say, regarding my marital status, that I am a widow. My beloved husband was toppled in the Great Stanley Park Storm of 2012. The pain of his passing is with me every moment of every day. As a housewife and federal minister, am sure that you understand. 
Hold your beautiful children to your bosom, Dearie and protect them with every ounce of your being. We never had children, and I will always regret that fact…
Your invitation to participate in this very interesting project comes at the right time for me. Am finally emerging back into the world and would love to help you in any way possible.
Your Humble Servant
Miss Myrtle
Miss Myrtle adds some thoughts to the previous email…
Mrs. Nomalanga,

Please forgive me, but I forgot to mention in my previous email, that Vancouver is indeed one of the most valuable real estate investment markets in the World, at this time. 
It’s over-inflated development boom just never seems to end, so this would be the perfect place for you to invest some of those millions. Dearies, the Vancouver Bubble sooo deserves to burst, and with investors like Mrs. N., am sure it will, lol
Mrs. Nomalanga.Responds
Your mail and contents has been noted. Its a pity regarding the death of your husband, very sad story, may his soul rest in peace.

I would wish us to have a verbal discussion regarding this matter, for us to get familiarize, to get some informations confirmed regarding the general arrangement, bank account and real estate investment market etc, but here in my country i would not be comfortable discussing this matter on phone with you for security reasons.

Recently I have been shortlisted among the 5 delegate scheduled for a few days official visit to Europe, we are leaving on thursday, i believe this would give us a better oppurtunity to have an extensive discussion on this issue. I hope you speak good english. If our discussion goes fine i would concentrate on this as i had planned to use this overseas trip to find a reliable foreign partner.

Note that this arrangement is based on truth and honesty, above all confidentiality until funds has arrived designated bank account, just for the sake of my job, reputation and credibility which is more important to me than everything.

Meanwhile are you the sole and only signatory to the account? How would you wish to be compensated? By cash or a percentage through the set up investment.
Kindly withdraw that word “SERVANT” WHICH YOU USED IN YOUR PREVIOUS MAIL. No one is meant to be a servant to another.

I expect your prompt response


Mrs Naledi Nomalanga.

Dearies, the trail has grown cold here, no emails in quite some time. I do hope that Mrs. Nomalanga and Interpol might have a meeting of the minds…well if not the minds, then perhaps the bank accounts.

Have to admit, am beginning to miss those emails, not to mention the prospect of untold wealth as the result of a new business relationship…


Air on a G-String – Musings Upon a Thong

Dearies, the world is in complete disarray. The serious enormity of it all is almost paralyzing.

Perhaps then it should have been no surprise that when folding my laundry, fresh from the dryer, I encountered an object so long-ago abandoned and never thought of, that at first did not recognize what is was. Perhaps a cloth band for ponytails, or…

It finally dawned on me that this miniscule stretchty band of grey and pink was a thong… someone else’s not mine. This was afterall, a communal laundry room in our building.

At first unravel, this looked like a thong fit for a doll, albeit a small rubber doll. It couldn’t possibly fit a human, could it? Then memory started to kick in…

It is nigh impossible to remember that once I too was young, slim, trim and possibly even luscious, but there was a time when sexy underwear was part of my kit. Truly Dearies, thongs were never never included-far too uncomfortable and for lack of a better word, downright yucky. Tried them out and just could never get used to the constraining fit, particularly in places they would inevitably end up, but shouldn’t.

Nonetheless, discovery of this tiny scrap of fabric transported me back to a kinder, gentler, more fun time in life when the world was shiny and new, and lay open like an oyster, before me.

This was of course before I founded “Our Sisters of Perpetual Boredom”, a nunnery in  the best traditions of Mother Church.

Normally, I would post a visual with the blog, but am going to leave things to your imagination here.

Raising a glass of champers to The Good Old Days, and to that great wit and raconteur Yogi Berra, who once said “Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be”. Cheers, Dearies, perhaps it never was!