Monthly Archives: February 2015

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 4

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Al Jazeera     Mohame Fahmy    Sheikh Tamim Bin Hamad Al Thani

Al Jazeera and the Govt of Qatar Dearies, have always been a fan of Al Jazeera for shining a light on the world through the Arab lens, but that has changed with the disgraceful manipulation of Mohamed Fahmy & his colleagues Peter Grieste and Baher Mohamed in Egypt. The state-owned international news service put their journalists in harm’s way, then hung them out to dry. For ruling family leader Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, suing the Egyptian govt mid-trial is act of vindictive, ignorant & dangerous minds. SHAME ON THEM! Even Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott was able to affect the release of Peter Grieste. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, defector and former Minister of Foreign Affairs, John Baird and current Minister of Foreign Affairs Rob Nicholson,  have failed miserably in efforts to obtain freedom for Mohamed Fahmy. AM ASHAMED TO BE CANADIAN!

Monte McNaughton      Vito Barbieri     Nevada-Assemblywoman-Michele-Fiore-R-official-Facebook-page-800x430

Monte McNaughton, homophobic Conservative MPP suggested that openly lesbian Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne should not be discussing proposed sex-ed curriculum with parents. Ms. Wynn responded with forceful intelligence, cutting McNaughton off at the knees.  Monte & his colleagues need to be sent to their rooms for a very long Time Out. Joining Monte in Time Out is Idaho Republican Rep Vito Barbieri, who thinks that women’s vaginas are connected to their stomachs. This should enable them to swallow a small camera for OBGYN exams, suggests the Capo di Tuto Medicos. Honestly, I can’t make this stuff up. The GOP are indeed the Party that keeps on giving, as underscored by Nevada Republican Rep Michele Fiore. Ms. Fiore assures us that cancer is a fungus, that can be washed away with baking soda! Rated No.1 Legislator by the Nevada Policy Research Institute (??!!??), Ms. Fiore is the poster girl for a state that is ground-zero for nuclear testing, home to the Mustang Ranch and that dystopian Disneyland – Las Vegas. Honestly Dearies, sooo wish there were a vaccination for STUPID…

RudyGiuliani   Phil Robertson   Tom COrbin

Speaking of stupid, Rudy Giuliani is at it again, race-baiting Americans with “Obama does not love America”. This sorry excuse of a man has squandered whatever good will he earned after 9/11. Alarmingly, he has become the poster child for the reactionary, fascist face of the GOP. He has subverted the meaning of patriotism.

And then we have another Biggeth Dicketh, CEO of Small Corporate Dynasties, Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. Phil has become a Fox News Go-To-Guy when it comes to talking about Radical Islam. My question is, do the ducks have a “Come to Jesus” moment before he and the Clan pump them full of lead?

South Carolina State Republican Senator Tom Corbin thinks that “women are a lesser cut of meat”… and should be kept barefoot and pregnant. He apparently directed these wise remarks to his colleague, GOP state senator Katrina Shealy, during a legislative dinner discussing domestic violence legislation. Methinks Senator Tom is the poster child for spaying and neutering…

Caribou  SNC Lavalin  Radical Brownies

Dearies, it doesn’t get any more cynical than the Alberta Endangered Species Conservation Committee. “Despite its name, the ESCC amounts to little more than an industrial development club, and it is directly responsible for delays in critical caribou protections. The ESCC is an initiative of the Government of Alberta’s Ministry of Sustainable Resource Development (SRD), and has a short list of extractive industrial members including the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, two representatives from Alberta Forest Products Association, Alberta Fish and Game Association, Alberta Irrigation Projects Association and the Western Stock Growers’ Association” The Tar Sands destruction of arboreal caribou continues. By the by Dearies, when that great environmentalist Sarah Palin says that “caribou have to take one for the team”, this is what she means! Well it sure as hell isn’t my team…

Meanwhile in Quebec, that bastion of moral turpitude, SNC Lavalin Canada’s very own Halliburton, is facing charges of bribery and corruption. SNC Lavalin is alleged to have paid or offered millions to Muammar Gaddafi & his family in Libya, governments and individuals in Bangladesh and Canada, for construction, mining and other contracts. SNC Lavalin’s tentacles are everywhere. They are relatively new owners of CANDU Energy (Canadian nuclear reactors), acquired from the government’s Atomic Energy Canada. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN WITHOUT ANY DISCUSSION???

Breitbart    faux news radical-brownies_c0-10-640-383_s561x327

It would take a cage match to the death, to decide whether Breitbart or Faux News were the most reprehensible, but Breitbart is racking up the points with its meltdown over Oakland’s Radical Brownies. This is a group of 8 to 10-year-old girls study social activism, inspired in part by the 60s radical group the Black Panthers. Breitbart calls the Radical Brownies a “horrifying” development that is so “creepy and fascist” as to beggar belief” .” Be afraid America…be very afraid

Canada  MMIW  Veterans Slush Fund

There is a Special Place in Hell reserved for the Government of Canada, who are forcing survivors of St. Anne’s Residential School, that used an electric chair to torture students, to go back to court yet again.They are demanding the release of documents outlining the  physical and sexual abuse that took place and implicating staff members. The Residential School Scandal Is Canada’s Shame!

That same government under Prime Minister Stephen Harper who said that “Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women are really not on my radar”, refuses to launch a national inquiry into over 1,200 #MMIW. Meanwhile, House Eskimo, Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq ignores the plight of her starving constituents in Nunavut… This Is Canada’s Shame!

The Harper Regime continues to fight its own Veterans on every front! When not using them for cynical photo ops, the PM, Veterans Affairs & his Ministers are busy denying Veteran’s health claims, shutting down services for Veterans and eviscerating their pensions. This Is Canada’s Shame!

Am stopping here Dearies…it is all too depressing. So many Inductees, so little time

Remember to Submit Your Nominations to @MissMyrtle2

Many Thanks to Raw Story,  Mike Hudema-Canadian Green Party,  APTN News

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Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 3

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Oh that wacky Dominique Strauss-Kahn – he’s at it again. This time, he’s being tried in Paris for pimping. I suppose that his tenure as head of the IMF- International Monetary Fund was a fertile training ground. As if his total humiliation in New York when he was charged with raping a hotel maid wasn’t enough… And then, I am saddened to say, we have NBC Nightly News Anchor Brian Williams, whose embellished retelling of an Iraq incident has resulted in his 6 month suspension without pay. There has been more than enough lying about Iraq, by the previous Bush Administrations, so am glad that Williams may return, a chastened man. We hold our true journalists to a higher standard. Faux News, those faux journalists…have NO standards. Eve Adams is not a household name here in Canada, she is more of a Sun News/tabloid star. Her Blondness was a potential star in Canada’s Conservative Party when she and her boyfriend Dimitri Soudas brought down the wrath of God a.ka. Stephen Harper, and were banished. Presto chango- they have just turned up as new stars of the Canadian Liberal Party Team. This pair are two of the biggest airheads and opportunists on the political scene, and that says a lot!

Dominique Strauss Kahn   brian williams Soudas Harper Mays

Christine Fernandez de Kirchner, President of Argentina is trying to distance herself from collusion in the murder of her prosecutor Alberto Nisman, who was about to blow the whistle on Iran’s involvement in the fatal bombing of the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires in 1992. Dearies, the Boys from Brazil are still running much of South America… and so it seems are the Girls. The Liberal Party of Canada, under the leadership of the young Justin Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau had been progressing along fairly well until he called a Press Conference to introduce the newest member of his 2015 Election Team, defector Eve Adams. Florida Rep D. Alan Hays is a retired dentist. He is demanding that all 8th graders watch a conservative movie America: Imagine the World Without Her. He introduced state Senate Bill 96  to combat what he sees as the “erroneous” and “anti-American” content of American history classes.

Christina Fernandez   adams-trudeau    AlanHays

Dinesh D’Souza is the conservative “filmmaker” who crafted the mediocrity that is America: Imagine the World Without Her.  Apparently the movie is so bad that Roger Ebert panned it and Rotten Tomatoes awarded it 8%.** Speaking of getting panned, the perpetually petulant Kanye West continues to inject himself into other’s important moments in the spotlight, as he did at the Grammys, again, when Beck received his award. Borrring! Rude! Tedious! How has this guy been allowed to procreate? Although, it does seem totally fair that he is married to another previous Inductee-Kim Kardashian’s Ass. Then there are The Anti Vaxxers, championed by GOP Rand Paul and Chris Christie***. These are the neanderthals who refuse to vaccinate their children. They are selfishly and callously exposing young children with life-threatening illnesses like Dr. Timothy Jacks’ 2 yr. old daughter, who has leukemia, to measles, while undergoing chemotherapy -potentially lifethreatening measles. SHAME!

dinesh dsouza   KANYE_3192313c   Measles Chris Christy Rand Paul

Dearies, Citizenship and Immigration Canada, a direct arm of the Conservative Party is in a Pre-Election frenzy., Their twitter feed has gone into overdrive promoting two highly dubious programs, both at taxpayer expense, naturally. As if the McDonald’s temporary worker scandal of 2014 wasn’t fresh enough in voters minds, CIC is flogging the “economic worker” program. Who the hell came up with that moniker? Whether temporary or economic, it all translates into low-paying jobs for foreign workers and no jobs for Canadians! And then there is the “Parent and Grandparent Super Visa”program. I swear, it is impossible to make this stuff up. Directly pandering to the huge Asian and South Asian voting blocks, the govt is cheerily tweeting that the “This visa is valid for up to 10 years and will let you visit your family in Canada for up to two years without renewing your status” Forgive me while I punch a hole in the wall… And then there is HSBC, the Hong Kong Shanghai Bank, that beacon of fiduciary responsibility and rapacious reach. A  new global scandal has emerged that HSBC tax documents show they helped wealthy clients hide billions, including Canadian clients. LOL, if one more person tells me that the Brits bought the bank from the Chinese, am going to puke. Puppetmasters, Dearies. The Chinese own just about everyone everywhere. From the global, to the minute, we turn our unwelcome attention to AMC Tallahassee. The theatre chain succumbed to political blackmail and is screening the aforementioned epic America: Imagine the World Without Her. Can tell you from experience Dearies, getting a national theatre chain to screen a film WITHOUT a distributor is impossible!

Gov-t-of-Canada-logo         hsbc-logo            amc-logo

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like West Virgina Rep Brian Kurcaba. Mr. Kurcaba opined that rape “can be a beautiful thing when a baby is the result”. When pressed that perhaps he had misplaced his adjectives, he insisted that he should be taken at his word. The Saudi Royal Family truly are the gift that keeps on giving. When George Dubya’s buddy King Abdullah died recently, the world turned out to grovel at the state funeral.. oil prices being what they are. The funeral revived gossip that The Royal Family were directly involved in 9/11 and other terrorist acts around the globe. It also shone a spotlight on rumours of Family members funding ISIS, Al Quaeda, the Taliban and other terrorist groups.  Finally we come to KKK Mouthpiece Alabama Justice Roy Moore. This sorry excuse for a jurist and human being, said that he “blocked gay marriages because father-daughter weddings were next!” ** He struck down the Supreme Court decision, arguing of course that this is a State issue, not a Federal one. So much for the Constitution…

Brian Kurcaba  r-SAUDI-ARABIA-PRINCE-large570  Roy Moore

Must stop for now Dearies. Need a dram or five… so many Inductees, so little time.

Stay tuned for Part 4

YOUR NOMINATIONS & COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED 

** Thanks to Raw Story http://www.rawstory.com/   *** Thanks to Mel Neuhaus @acehanna54

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame – Part 2

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Dearies, here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. Here are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Former Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin  is the gift that keeps on giving. Her incoherent rambling speech at the recent Iowa Freedom Summit had folks rolling in the aisles. Methinks she is Speaking in Tongues. Governor Chris Christie has lost the respect he gained during Hurricane Sandy and continues to bumble his way towards a Presidential Run. He truly does remind us of Schultz in Hogan’s Heroes. And then there is that opportunistic fly weight John Baird. Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs is deserting Prime Minister Harper’s rapidly sinking ship. An early pension and lucrative job offers are on the horizon. In announcing his resignation in Parliament, Baird provoked the Michael Corleone hug from his Boss, Consigliere Harper. We know it was you Fredo!

John McCain, Sarah Palin  Chris Christie as Schultz   Harper Hugs Baird

Kim Kardashian’s Ass is also the gift that keeps on giving. It’s everywhere, every hour of every day. When it’s not shilling for some lamebrane product, its chillin with hubby Kanye West – that model of modesty and self-restraint. How, you may ask does an Ass get inducted into the RCIHOF? I will leave that to your imaginations.  Chuck Todd or Todd Chuckles as he is known in our house, is the host of Meet the Depressing, oops the Press. Dearies, methinks he should be arrested and charged with Pandering. You may not be aware of this, but that infamous wit, raconteur and paragon of virtue Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has been elected chairman of the African Union. If only the International Criminal Court could get their hands on him, for the genocide of his people…

Kim Kardashian   Chuck Todd  Mugabe

Speaking of Robert Mugabe Dearies, when I tweeted a response to Human Rights Watch’s Kenneth Roth, about Mugabe’s new appointment, the Mugabe Trolls came out in force. None was more self-righteous than George Kibe. George immediately responded with “take your ignorance and arrogance to hell.colonialists and scavangers have no place in africa.u r murderers and robbers.shame.”   When I countered that he, Mugabe and his cronies need only look into the mirror to find murderers and robbers, he lost it. Now keep in mind that this is a troll whose profile quotation is “love can turn the world”. Those who do not learn from history are definitely doomed to repeat it… Sigh. Congressman and former Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan never ceases to amaze. This on-and-off darling of the Tea Party, just proposed over 1 billion dollars in legislation as new chairman of the Ways and Means Committee. How’s that for being a fiscal conservative and deficit hawk! Canada’s very own House Eskimo Leona Aglukkaq makes me ashamed to share citizenship. Our Minister of the Environment (the most cynical appointment ever) has demanded apologies from constituents who had the balls to point out the fact that seniors in her riding of Nunavut were starving to death and reduced to scavenging in dumpsters. SHAME ON HER AND SHAME ON CANADA!

George Kibe   r-PAUL-RYAN-large570     Leona Aglukkaq

Kinder Morgan that beacon of phosphorescent light in the oil biz, never ceases to amaze. From having elderly pipeline protesters arrested to flooding our TV screens with warm fuzzy PR ads about what responsible corporate citizens they are, there is no pristine environment that they aren’t willing to trash in order to make that almighty buck. Kinder Morgan Canada President Ian Anderson is a chump for the ages. Treasure Valley Wines, whose saccharine name belies a Chinese investment group that is buying up Australian and other wineries. These guys who also go by the name 1847 Winery, are the HSBC of vintners. SHAME ON Sue and John Curnow FOR SELLING OUT!  How could Target Canada have missed the mark so badly? That pusillanimous purveyor of stuff has gone back to the US with its tail between its legs, leaving thousands of employees and suppliers holding the bag. Oh, and let’s not forget… the Canadian taxpayer too.

Kinder Morgan   yaldara-july-28-breakouyt   Target Canada

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like Eric Dejaeger. The 67-year-old ex-priest was found guilty of sexually abusing children in Nunavut 30 years ago. The abuse of Canada’s First Nations and Inuit Peoples is our National Shame. The Residential School Scandal must never be forgotten and people like Dejaegar held accountable. Joining Dejaeger will be Jonathan Weisbard, the Assistant Attorney General, for demeaning the teacher wh o is suing the state after being raped and nearly killed after administering a test at an Arizona prison. In his report Weisbard wrote “Plaintiff wants to create an artificial impression that the ADOC officers knew she was in danger but she did not know, It makes no sense. Of course, if Plaintiff did appreciate the danger of her situation, as an employee, she could have done something about it.”. This man is a disgrace to the office, the state of Arizona, and humanity in general.  Finally, Boko Haram have taken us back to Stone Age. With their complete subversion of Islam, drug-fuelled hatred of women, peace and democracy, they make the Neanderthals look positively cultured. We must never forget to #BringBackOurGirls!

Eric Dejaeger    Jonathan Weisbard   Boko-Haram_0

Am going to stop here. Badly need a dram or 5. We have so many more Inductees to feature…stay tuned for Part 3

YOUR NOMINATIONS & COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED