Monthly Archives: March 2015

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame – PART 5

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Carmen Miranda

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dearies, just when you think they couldn’t sink any lower, the GOP’s 47 Traitors send an Open Letter to The Leaders of Iran. The sheer hubris of this unprecedented move, is evident in its initiator, freshman Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton. He and his cohorts are educating the Ayatollah and his colleagues about what Treason looks like. The Gang of 47 want to undermine President Obama’s ongoing negotiations with Iran to find a peaceful solution to developing their nuclear program. Senator John McCain waffled on having signed the The Letter, saying that a snow storm prevented him from reading it thoroughly. This was after his meltdown in a Senate hearing that he presided over, while welcoming that great  humanitarian Henry Kissinger. You can’t make this stuff up…

47 Traitors   TOM COTTON ARNOLD   JohnMcCain

SHAME ON THE PRIME MINISTER! The discussion about the Gestapo-like Anti-Terrorism BillC-51 was derailed by Stephen Harper’s rant about women wearing the niqab in Canada, and what a subversion of women’s rights the niqab is. This was a bait and switch tactic of the lowest order, and Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau took the bait with some fairly disturbing rhetoric of his own. The Government has banned women from wearing the niqab at Citizenship Ceremonies AND the Prime Minister was frothing at the mouth when he stated that “it’s (the niqab) contrary to Canadian values and rooted in a culture that is anti-women.” Fly weight Minister of National Defense and Multiculturalism ( a dubious double portfolio if there ever was one) Jason Kenney has been taking this ball and running with it. Speaking of balls, how ironic that NONE of the Harper henchmen have any…

Harper Niqab  Niqab  Jason Kenney

By the way, Canadian Green Party Leader Elizabeth May advised via Twitter that Conservative Ministers and backbenchers were sniggering during a presentation by a prominent Civil Liberties advocate, during the BillC-51 debate. Speaking of the brilliant, dedicated and relentless Ms. May, I encourage every Canadian to sign a petition calling for her inclusion in ALL election debates. One of Canada’s most eloquent and thoughtful politicians deserves to be heard. Elizabeth May has more balls than the entire Conservative Caucus. Do you know the difference between a cactus and a caucus? The caucus has the pricks on the inside…but I digress

Elizabeth May

GOP Presidential Candidate Gov Scott Walker Scott Walker feels that “I can defeat ISIS because I defeated 100,000 union protesters”. This is disturbing and hysterically funny on a number of levels. Then of course, there is the confusion over Walker’s stance on Legal Status, Amnesty and The Path to Citizenship…. who knew that one man could take so many different positions on so many euphemisms. He is the Master of the  GOP Kama Sutra. The meteoric rise and fall of Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock was more aw shucks than anything else.  In his swan song, the modest and unrepentant Schock compared himself to Abraham Lincoln, amongst others. Methinks the Iron Bar Hotel and orange jumpsuits can’t be too far away.  Conservative MP Larry Miller told Muslim women who want to wear the niqab while taking the Canadian citizenship oath to “stay the hell where you came from.”.  Larry crawled out from under his rock to “apologize” for this ludicrous remark. Stephen Harper has yet to apologize for his…

Scott Walker    Aaron Schock  Larry Miller

Dearies, Microsoft Canada‘s Temporary Workers Program is just another example of the Harper Government’s failing pad-the-vote strategy. The “economic worker” plan as CICCitizenship and Immigration ads like to put it, hasn’t worked out so well for McDonalds or Target. Microsoft plans to hire mostly foreign workers for its new British Columbia Training Centre. SHAME ON THEM! Meanwhile, Canada’s very own Koch Tank – The Fraser Institute continues to spew forth the usual drivel including an hysterical chart comparing Alberta and Texas’ finances. It failed to make their point for them but did inspire some very funny comparisons between Rick Perry and Jim Prentice. And who can forget Barrick Gold Corp, that beacon of mining fiduciary and moral responsibility. They just added disgraced ex Foreign Minister John Baird and Newt Gingrich ( what adult in their right mind would keep the name Newt???) to the Board. Methinks All they need to do is entice Rush Limbaugh, and they’ll have The Three Stooges!

MICROSOFT     FRASER-inst-300-pix-08-FEB-21_bigger  Barrick John Baird  Newt Gingrich  Rush Limbaugh Three Stooges

Arkansas is indeed the Gift That Keeps On Giving. There is a Special Place in Hell reserved for Arkansas Rep Justin Harris and his wife. They “unofficially” adopted a young child, who when proving “difficult”, was “rehomed” to the care of their friend, a sexual predator, who then assaulted her. The Rep has also performed exorcisms on” difficult” children in their Sunday School. I would like to “rehome” Mr. and Mrs. Harris to the Arkansas Maximum Security Unit. Indiana Governor Mike Pence is also hell-bound for signing the “Religious Freedom” bill that is really an LGBT discrimination edict-the first in the nation, and a total moral abomination. Adolf Hitler would be so proud! And Hell is waiting for Benjamin Netanyahu. Bibi Dearest used the classic fear mongering card of saying that Israeli Arabs would turn the vote against his beloved Likud Party in the recent election. He squeaked by and is no doubt planning the murders of thousands more Gaza children and the total destruction of Palestine.

Justin Harris  Mike Pence SEA 101  Netanyahu

Dearies, after reading this, need to repair for a dram or 10. The #RectalCranialImpactionHallOfFame Needs to build an additional wing just to accommodate new Nominees. PLEASE SEND IN  YOUR suggestions and donations…they are greatly appreciated!

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The Rise and Fall of Canada’s Fourth Reich

Harper Netanyahu

Dearies, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is the country’s most reviled leader since…well, forever. He has dragged this once proud nation down through the mud, pitting Canadians against one another.

It is with a heavy heart that I write my thoughts here. I do not take this lightly…

In Franklin Shaffer’s 1978 thriller The Boys From Brazil, based on the Ira Levin novel, “Dr. Josef Mengele (Gregory Peck) clones Hitler 95 times, and hopes to raise the resulting boys in Brazil, giving them childhoods identical to Hitler’s. His ultimate plan is to create a band of Nazi leaders that can continue where Hitler left off, forming the Fourth Reich”. He then sends them out into the World, to be activated in the future. He is pursued by aging Nazi Hunter Sir Laurence Olivier.

Bear with me here, Dearies. My theory is that Stephen Harper is indeed one of those very boys… metaphysically speaking.

Preston Manning   Brian Mulroney & Reagan

Stephen Harper has overseen the final transformation of the far right-wing evangelical Alberta Alliance Party into the most corrupt iteration of the once proud Conservative Party of Canada (as if that were possible, after Brian Mulroney).  He has outdone even the Godfather, Preston Manning. Any comparisons to the GOP Tea Party and its minions, are well-earned. It is almost as if they were functioning by the same play book.

Veterans Slush Fund    MMIW   Leona Aglukkaq

From cutting Veterans Benefits – THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME,  to saying in a nationally televised interview, that 1,200 Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (#MMIW) are not really on his radar-THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME! To Inuit seniors being reduced to scavenging for food in dumpsters, while Herr Harper’s handmaiden and House Eskimo Nunavut Minister Leona Aglukkaq sulks behind a newspaper in Parliament – THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME! To denying needy Veteran’s medical and pension claims and forcing them to PROVE that they have lost limbs, every three years… and on and on and on, ad nauseam. It does not get more shameful than this.

Stephen Harper has pretty much prorogued Parliament since he first became Prime Minister. He has shut down parliamentary and national debate at every level… so much for Democracy. At the very same time he has revved up a Goebbels-like propaganda machine, the likes of which this country has never seen.

Harper  Nunavut Dump  Polar Bears

At the expense of the Canadian Taxpayer he has stage-managed his very own Nuremberg Rallies, The Conservative Party of Canada version is constantly staged photo ops with military personnel – while cynically denying them benefits and aid. More photo ops in the North, a smiling Harper in traditional parka, avoids the still smoldering Nunavut Trash Dump and melting icecaps where polar bears are the canary in that coalmine.

The virtual Nuremberg Rallies take place on social media, because after all, the Conservatives are nothing if not social media savvy. Citizenship and Immigration Canada touting “economic workers” and fast-tracking “economic immigrants” with $$$ is beyond cynical. It translates into either offshore buyers mainly from Asia and South Asia who scoop up expensive real estate in Vancouver and Toronto and do NOT become residents… to poor workers coming to low-paying jobs that are in essence taking those same low-paying jobs away from Canadians. It doesn’t get more cynical than this.

Canadas Economic Action Plan Penises  Immigration Canada  Caribou Mark Carney

Oh wait a moment, yes it does Dearies. Canada’s Economic Action Plan is bombarding the airwaves. As real put-food on the table and a roof-over-your-head jobs disappear, the Tar Sands miracle evaporates, and the Loonie plummets – The Conservatives and Harper would have us believe that we never had it so good. The Canadian Economy continues to tank, and the first sign of that was a subtle one methinks – Former Governor of the Bank of Canada Mark Carney deserts the sinking ship to sail to Old Blighty and become Governor of the Bank of England.

There is indeed a sucker born every minute. And Canadians have to be some of the biggest suckers in the world. Somebody keeps voting Herr Harper and his henchmen into power, and it sure as hell isn’t me…

Harper Hugs Baird peter-mackay-wears-no-compromise-pro-gun-t-shirt  Julian Fantino Rob and Doug Ford

You are often judged by the company you keep. As Canada’s Commander-in-Chief, Stephen Harper helped create such monstrous buffoons as former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford ( and big bro Doug). This drug-addicted trash-talking mayor of Canada’s largest city made it and the country the punchline of late-night comedy jokes. Former Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird failed to secure the release of Canadian journalist Mohamed Fahmy from an Egyptian jail, mollified Vladmir Putin and then jumped ship when the going got rough. Former Defence and now Minister of Injustice Peter MacKay is a gun activist and flyweight supreme. Former Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino insulted Veterans and cut their hard-won  benefits, Former Health and now Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq is virtually overseeing the genocide of her own People: seniors and others starving, astronomical youth suicide rates and ironically enough as “Environment” Minister, the melting of the Arctic.

Patrick Brazeau  Idle No More   temporary-shelter-in-attawapiskat (1)

Oh yes, we cannot forget former patronage appointee Conservative Senator Patrick Brazeau, abuser of women, who now runs a strip club steps away from Parliament Hill. Adding to Canada’s international shame is the determined effort of the Harper Cons to scrap First Nations consultations and negotiations while ramming through pipelines and tanker ports. Not to mention keeping First Nations and Metis peoples living in Third World Conditions… Atawapiskat amongst others is the poster-child for genocide by a thousand cuts

goebbels  pierre poilievre   CBC  Mansbridge

The Harper version of The Night of the Long Knives has been to muzzle the press and character assassinate anyone and I do mean ANYONE who speaks out against him. The once proud CBC has been co-opted to act as the Conservative Party PR machine. Propaganda Minister Pierre Poilievre is casting his taxpayer-funded vanity ad net everywhere, and Nightly News anchor Peter Mansbridge fits right in. Is it just me Dearies, or do they bear a startling resemblance to Josef Goebbels? But I digress…

Mike Duffy  IMG_4959.JPG.jpeg

Wait, what light through yonder window breaks? ‘Tis Mike Duffy and the Senate Scandal, and “Anti-Terror” Bill C-51. How  ironic is it that an old CBC hack and blowhard may issue the first crack in the Conservative Party warship hull. And speaking of war, Herr Harper has stricken fear in the hearts of Canadians – fear of “terrorists”, fear of one another. Of course he is the only one capable of saving us from ourselves and the Democracy that my father and grandfather fought for…ergo Bill C-51.

Harpers With Cats

So Dearies, methinks there is just no getting around making comparisons to the last days of The Third Reich, and the twilight of the Alliance/Conservative Party of Canada. Laureen Harper, that Stepford First Lady, plays Eva to her husband’s Fuehrer. They are both hunkered down in the Bunker…that metapyhisical closet,  surrounded by sycophants.

If ever there was a time for the Forces of Good to rise up against the Forces of Evil, the time is now. If Canadians fail to excercise their franchise, they will continue to struggle in The Darkness that they have earned.

This cannot end well for Harper and the “Conservative” Party..but the damage they have done to Canada is irreparable. And for that…THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED!