Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down
Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:
DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.
SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction
Well Dearies, The Bundy Militia Stand-Off in Oregon has entered a new phase. Ammon Bundy and 5 of his posse were arrested en route to a community meeting in the city of John Day. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed. As someone tweeted, at least he provided his own body-bag (he was Blue Tarp Man – sitting under a blue tarp with a gun in his lap, during the Occupation). Here’s hoping that Orange will be the new Bundy Black, but it’s anyone’s guess where things go from here. Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts even made Ammon his very own doughnut…
Speaking of Orange being the new Black, Karma has finally bitten David Dalieden and Sandra Merritt in the butt. Harris, Texas DA Devon Anderson turned the tables on these slimy creators of the notorious fake Planned Parenthood videos, and instead of indicting that organization, indicted Dalieden and Merritt, for tampering with government files. Their Center for Medical Progress twitter feed has gone silent. In all fairness, this delicious and ironic twist has been a long time in coming. When I open Miss Myrtle’s Heroes Hall of Fame, Ms. Anderson will be one of the first Inductees.
In the Bizzaro World of Donald Trump, Cirque Du Toupee just received an endorsement from Sarah Palin, and although I can not decipher its total meaning (cracking the Enigma Code was tougher – with apologies to Alan Turing), have no doubt that she is angling for a spot on The Ticket. Trump/Palin 2016 has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it. Ms. Palin had to leave her endorsement press conference to go bail out here wayward son Track Palin, who had just been arrested for domestic violence. But not before she blamed President Obama for her son’s behaviour and PTSD. Sarah has been busy, what with her unmarried daughter Bristol, spokesperson for Abstinence Is Us, giving birth to a second grandchild over the Holidays. I for one, am salivating at the prospect of a Trump/Palin run. They are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
Meanwhile, back here in Beautiful British Columbia, Premier Christy Clark, our very own Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing is busy posing for cheesy photo-ops with Search and Rescue Teams whose budgets SHE CUT…crowing about the paltry thousands she is graciously giving them. She is also trying to ram through the Kinder Morgan Pipeline Project, transporting Alberta Tar Sands sludge through much of pristine BC, to the Coast, and on to the rapacious Asian market. This is the same broad who wanted to close a major connector, The Burrard Bridge, for yoga classes. Talk about downward dog…
While I usually rant about one corporation or another, have given this space to the imploding Republican Party. The Grand Old Party has Teddy Roosevelt, and so many others, turning over in their graves. As Republican Party National Committee Chairman Reince Prebus so blithely tweets… “Great job Gov Nikki Haley! Fantastic balance and substance. Our party is the new, young and diverse party!” – in response to President Obama‘s final State of the Nation address. Balance and substance are the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is. The carnage wrought upon American cities and states by GOP troglodytes is truly breath-taking…The Bigger The Lie! The GOP has lost its moral compass.
There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, who is trying to spin his way out of the fact that he poisoned tens of thousands of Flint residents, many of whom are from the black community, while crowing about saving millions as a tough Republican wise-ass. Social advocate and brilliant documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has launched an #ArrestGovSnyder twitter campaign that we all must support.The Flint Water Crisis underscores the fact that the GOP have not only lost their way, they have lost their moral compass. Re-christened his twitter moniker @onetoughnerd to @onetoughturd.
Joining him in Hell, is James Monroe High School Principal Brendan Lyons. Lyons forced the resignation of beloved and award-winning teacher Tom Porton, in the Bronx. Porton, who is a National Teachers Hall of Fame Inductee, has been honored by the City of New York and The Kennedy Centre for The Arts. His legion of student-supporters grows every year. His ground-breaking and life-changing AIDS activism put him at loggerheads with Brendan Lyons, who needs to go and stand in the corner! Meanwhile, Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin was found “almost certain” to have ordered the polonium poisoning of yet another political critic Alexander Litvinenko by the official British inquiry into his murder. The bodies of journalists and others who oppose Putin’s quest for nothing less than total world domination, continue to pile up.
Honestly Dearies, my head is exploding and it is only January 29, 2016. The Iowa Caucus is on Monday. There are times when I wish I could just go into a coma until November 8. Must break out the Talisker and have a dram or 5. Part 8 to follow soon.
PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for new Inductees: @MissMyrtle2