Monthly Archives: November 2016

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

Advertisements

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 10

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

boris-and-natasha1

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, have spent much of the last two weeks curled up in a fetal ball, unable to come to grips with the fact that America has a new President-Elect – and it is Donald Trump. Am inducting Don The Con as our RCIHOF Lifetime Achievement winner.

Election 2016 has sucked the life out of me, and am sure many of you too. The corrosive divisiveness of Trump’s campaign rhetoric, combined with the avalanche of dezinformatsiya that culminated in the unprecedented interference of FBI Director James Comey at the 11th hour, was too much to bear. Oh yes, there is also the matter of the Hillary Clinton winning the Popular Vote by the largest margin in history… and the Electoral College.

trump-obama

American mainstream and cable media disgraced themselves over the past 18 months by responding to all the dog-whistles,conspiracy theories and fake news stories. They overlooked the BIGGEST story of the century. I have my own conspiracy theory, please indulge me here. I believe that Vladimir Putin compromised Donald Trump, Julian Assange ergo Wikileaks, and others in and outside of the US government, to subvert the results of the American Election. How convenient that NSA whistleblower/traitor Edward Snowden is now living in the Moscow area.

It hit me when I was lying on the sofa, listlessly channel surfing to numb the pain. I started watching old reruns of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.Who knew Rocky and Bullwinkle were prescient when they introduced us to Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale from 1959-1964. What we fell in love with as children is now an eerie but delicious metaphor: Putin is Fearless Leader, bent on nothing short of total World Domination; Trump is his inept pawn and buffoon Boris Badenov and Melania Trump is the Putin honey-pot Natasha Fatale.

boris-and-natasha1

Putin: I put my evil genius mind to work At last I have the answer

Melania: You are so bad you’re good!

Trump: It is good to be bad!

Speaking of being compromised by Putin, Green Party Leader  Jill Stein and Trump National Security Advisor pick Lt. General Mike Flynn joined Fearless Leader in Moscow for a propaganda soiree,earlier this year. What could possibly go wrong with that? Governor Gary Johnson didn’t need any help from the Kremlin to sabotage his own pathetic campaign. Who can forget his “What’s Aleppo?” moment. Both he and Stein managed to syphon off a small percentage of the vote from Hillary Clinton. Many of those angry Bernie Sanders protest voters helped Putin hand Trump the victory on a platter. And how about those voting machine hacks…

flynn-putin-moscow

So now, we have the new dog and pony show with Jill Stein soliciting millions of dollars to force a recount in at least three swing-states and a panic about the Electoral College confirmation on December 19 . Frankly, I don’t have enough cases of single malt on hand to make it through until then.

What if the election results are overturned? What if Trump is disqualified for any of a thousand reasons before Inauguration Day in January??? The thought of a potential Mike Pence presidency is equally terrifying – perhaps that was the plan all along. All I see when I look at that man is a white sheet with pointy hood…

mike-pence-conversion-therapy-meme

And so we lurch from day to day and crisis to crisis as Cirque Du Toupee rolls on… a whirlwind of chaos, leaving total destruction wherever it goes. The GOP has been hijacked by its most racist, homophobic, evangelical, misogynist elements – or maybe it has reverted to its true form. A narcissistic, bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon who cannot stop looking in the mirror at his own reflection may indeed become the 45th President of the United States. Would somebody please wake us from this horrific nightmare!

dt-putin-mirror-david-horsey

 

Many Thanks to David Horsey @davidhorsey  for his Trump/Putin cartoon and  for his Mike Pence meme