Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down
Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.
SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction
Dear Hearts, have spent much of the last two weeks curled up in a fetal ball, unable to come to grips with the fact that America has a new President-Elect – and it is Donald Trump. Am inducting Don The Con as our RCIHOF Lifetime Achievement winner.
Election 2016 has sucked the life out of me, and am sure many of you too. The corrosive divisiveness of Trump’s campaign rhetoric, combined with the avalanche of dezinformatsiya that culminated in the unprecedented interference of FBI Director James Comey at the 11th hour, was too much to bear. Oh yes, there is also the matter of the Hillary Clinton winning the Popular Vote by the largest margin in history… and the Electoral College.
American mainstream and cable media disgraced themselves over the past 18 months by responding to all the dog-whistles,conspiracy theories and fake news stories. They overlooked the BIGGEST story of the century. I have my own conspiracy theory, please indulge me here. I believe that Vladimir Putin compromised Donald Trump, Julian Assange ergo Wikileaks, and others in and outside of the US government, to subvert the results of the American Election. How convenient that NSA whistleblower/traitor Edward Snowden is now living in the Moscow area.
It hit me when I was lying on the sofa, listlessly channel surfing to numb the pain. I started watching old reruns of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.Who knew Rocky and Bullwinkle were prescient when they introduced us to Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale from 1959-1964. What we fell in love with as children is now an eerie but delicious metaphor: Putin is Fearless Leader, bent on nothing short of total World Domination; Trump is his inept pawn and buffoon Boris Badenov and Melania Trump is the Putin honey-pot Natasha Fatale.
Putin: I put my evil genius mind to work At last I have the answer
Melania: You are so bad you’re good!
Trump: It is good to be bad!
Speaking of being compromised by Putin, Green Party Leader Jill Stein and Trump National Security Advisor pick Lt. General Mike Flynn joined Fearless Leader in Moscow for a propaganda soiree,earlier this year. What could possibly go wrong with that? Governor Gary Johnson didn’t need any help from the Kremlin to sabotage his own pathetic campaign. Who can forget his “What’s Aleppo?” moment. Both he and Stein managed to syphon off a small percentage of the vote from Hillary Clinton. Many of those angry Bernie Sanders protest voters helped Putin hand Trump the victory on a platter. And how about those voting machine hacks…
So now, we have the new dog and pony show with Jill Stein soliciting millions of dollars to force a recount in at least three swing-states and a panic about the Electoral College confirmation on December 19 . Frankly, I don’t have enough cases of single malt on hand to make it through until then.
What if the election results are overturned? What if Trump is disqualified for any of a thousand reasons before Inauguration Day in January??? The thought of a potential Mike Pence presidency is equally terrifying – perhaps that was the plan all along. All I see when I look at that man is a white sheet with pointy hood…
And so we lurch from day to day and crisis to crisis as Cirque Du Toupee rolls on… a whirlwind of chaos, leaving total destruction wherever it goes. The GOP has been hijacked by its most racist, homophobic, evangelical, misogynist elements – or maybe it has reverted to its true form. A narcissistic, bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon who cannot stop looking in the mirror at his own reflection may indeed become the 45th President of the United States. Would somebody please wake us from this horrific nightmare!