Tag Archives: Dmitry Medvedev

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 9 – Update

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

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F**K TWITTER! Part 2

Since taking out my frustrations about constantly being suspended after strong anti- Vladimir Putin tweets in a blog-post on October 5, 2016, much has happened. https://missmyrtle2.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/miss-myrtles-rectal-cranial-impaction-hall-of-fame-part-9/.

Just before Halloween of that year, posted the following tweet with this pic of Putin and the comment “Sometimes It Just Sucks Being #vladimirputin #EverydayVampireProblems”

Putin Dracula Robin Lawson

Immediately my Twitter account was suspended again – this time for over 72 hours.

On October 19, 2016 – two weeks prior to this account lock, had concluded that Twitter (Canada) had a serious security issue: Russia. Never received any replies to my frantic requests that a real person contact me, not just a Twitter bot. I reached out to a business acquaintance high up at Google. He immediately connected me directly with the new Managing Director of Twitter Canada. Rory Capern has since mysteriously left the company. We talked via phone and emailed the week of October 19.

Capern connected me to his Director of Content, Christopher Doyle and his tech team. All of them had me answer many questions and ignored my responses and my clearly listed concerns. They inferred I was wearing a tin-foil hat. On October 21, the big East Coast Denial of Service (DDoS) Bot-Net hack occurred, affecting access to websites, social media, hundreds of corporations, infrastructure service providers, government agencies and others.

After the Halloween 2016 account lock-out, had multiple suspensions, well into the Spring of 2017. Had been tweeting relentlessly about the Syrian Genocide and the roles that monsters Putin and Assad were playing in it. Tweeted about Putin planning to invade Ukraine after annexing Crimea, and co-opting Netanyahu in Israel and Erdogan in Turkey. Included Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev in some of those tweets. Also Putin Puppet General Mike Flynn. Used hashtags like #BackToTheGulag and #MakeRussiaGreatAgain

Always got the same automated response from Twitter:

Hello,

Your account is now unlocked, and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.

Twitter has automated systems that find and remove automated spam accounts and it looks like your account got caught up in one of these spam groups by mistake. This sometimes happens when an account exhibits automated behavior in violation of the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules).

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience. Please do not respond to this email as replies will not be monitored.

Thanks,

Twitter Support

My account was NEVER unlocked after receiving those messages. I had to bombard Rory Capern and Christopher Doyle with emails (to which they never responded), until 4 -7 days later, my account would finally be unlocked.

I lost over 5,000 REAL Followers as a result of the constant account suspensions (part of the hack attack) and have never been able to regain them, or rebuild that momentum. After Spring 2017 the account locks stopped. Maybe Twitter FINALLY improved its cyber security efforts.

In February and April of 2017, I posted Mike Luckovich cartoons re Putin, Trump, the GOP and James Comey: My account was locked soon after both times:

DT Putin In Bed Toon Mike Luckovich  DT Putin Comey I need Loyalty ML June 2017

Kept a running riff going on the Boris and Natasha TV cartoon characters in the much-beloved Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.  Made Putin Fearless Leader, Melania Natasha Fatale, and Trump Boris Badenov. Was often shut down after tweeting them:

Boris&Natasha Screw Amerika:
Putin: My Evil Plan is Working Bwahaha
Melania: #FlynnLies #PenceLied
Trump: And #Snowdon’s tied up with a bow

Boris and Natasha1           Boris Badenov NoGoodNik

My biggest concern is that Putin, in addition to weaponizing social media to spread dezinformatsiya – Fake News and cause global chaos, is also shutting down critics NOT just in Russia, but around the World. Miss Myrtle is just a tiny fish, caught up in a gigantic  Russian Bot algorithmic cyber net.

Twitter Canada, Facebook Canada and other social media platforms in this country, have NEVER been held to account for their failure to protect users from Russian bots not just spreading Fake News, but also stealing their private and financial information. Our CRTC (The Canadian Radio Television and Telecommunications Commission is a regulatory agency for broadcasting and telecommunications) per usual, it has its head in the sand. Wake Up Canada!

At least the House and Senate committees are looking into this situation. No matter how hard the Republicans try to obstruct the work being done, am hopeful the truth will prevail here.

This situation is also related to the recent Kremlinesque Trump Administration attack on Net Neutrality. Trump appointee Ajit Pai has gutted the FCC ( Federal Communications Commission, an independent agency of the US government created by statute to regulate interstate communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable). He reversed consumer internet protections. It has been confirmed that during the Public Commentary period on the FCC’s website, over 1 MILLION Russian-based bots swarmed the comments page.

Shutting down Freedom of Speech and the freedom to choose the news and other content that you consume, is what Putin and other dictators do. It allows him to spread his propaganda 24/7/365 and consolidate his power. He has run basically unopposed in the current Russian “election” and will be elected Czar For Life. If that isn’t Back To The Gulag, what is…

This discussion is far from over. Putin’s megalomaniacal plan to destroy America from within, affects us all. It affects Canada even more so, given our geography and our history. We live in perilous times, and the young entrepreneurs, the Jack Dorseys and Mark Zuckerbergs of Silicon Valley, never dreamed in a million years that their innovative platforms for social communication would ever be weaponized to perpetrate evil on a global scale.

We cannot and must not let Putin’s Useful Idiot, Donald Trump succeed. The battlefield has changed, but we must acknowledge that We Are At War.

To be continued…

*** Please share your Twitter – Russian Bot experiences @missmyrtle2***

 

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Where are Batman and Robin When You Really Need Them?

Batman Robin and Villains

Dearies, have been feeling a bit depressed, irritable and overwhelmed lately, truth be told.

The World is going to Hell in a Basket of Deplorables. And nobody seems able to stop it. The Armageddon Election, terrorist attacks, Syria, Palestine, South Sudan, Brexit, Ukraine,invasions, bombings, floods, earthquakes, forest fires, teachers strikes, drone strikes, melting glaciers, doomed species, political gridlock and enmity, cancer, suicide, death and destruction: the list goes on and on and on…It’s in our faces 24/7.

While listlessly draped on the sofa watching TV, quite by accident, flipped onto an old episode of Batman. Holy Bat Cave!!!

Laughed so hard for the next half hour, at the beautiful uncomplicated silliness of it all, and also cried- for the sheer joy of remembering a kinder, gentler time. As a kid, never ever missed a single original show, and the absurdly wonderful humor is even funnier today than it was then.

So many thoughts and memories:

Batman Villains

Ah, the Villains. Who can forget The Joker, Catwoman, The Penguin and The Riddler?  Their dastardly evil plots were quite benign by todays standards. The sheer joy with which Cesar Romero, Julie Newmar, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin and others played their roles, was not lost on us kids. No scenery was left unchewed, no cliché held sacred…KAPOW!!!

The sets were absurdly simple and whimsical. Yes, they had a sense of whimsy without cutting-edge technology getting in the way. The props were hysterical. From the looks of the old TV episodes, it must have cost $50 to make a show, excluding actor’s salaries (which by today’s standards would be absurdly low). That includes costumes and make-up. The wonderful cheesiness of it all, enhanced the shared experience. WE HAD TO USE OUR IMAGINATIONS.

Reminds me of the early Dr. Who and the TARDIS/Phonebox from Britain’s BBC. The austere rough-hewn simplicity and boundless fun of its earlier incarnation was equally and wonderfully cheesy. These were afterall, the same folks who brought us Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men.

The sheer darkness and introspection of what followed, the Big Screen versions of Batman and Robin, have to a large degree mirrored the ever darkening lens of world events. Early magical Super Heroes like Adam West and Burt Ward, have been supplanted by the likes of Henry Cavill, Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr., worthy actors in their own right, commanding a larger, brooding stage.

The gazillion dollar budgets for each new Batman movie and its Super Hero cousins, become more obscene with every film. These budgets could lift several Third World countries out of poverty permanently. But I digress…

The witty repartee flew fast and furious with each Batman TV episode. Even as kids, we knew it was funny and as  an adult, it is even funnier.

Thelonius Armstrong compiled a list of some of “Adam West’s Funniest Quotes as Batman” and I would like to discuss each of them. They are so relevant to the world that we find ourselves in these days:

Batman POW 2

  1. “It’s obvious. Only a criminal would disguise himself as a licensed, bonded guard yet callously park in front of a fire hydrant.”  Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin need to be tied to fire hydrants and forced to watch old Batman TV episodes
  2. Batman SPLATT!
  3. We’ve come a long way from the Prime Minister’s exploding cake. Or have we?” Actually Dearies, we still have a ways to go. Political and character assassinations have become a way of life, and are much less fun than exploding cake. In some ways, Paul Ryan has become the Martha Stewart of exploding cake.
  4. “A reporter’s lot is not easy, making exciting stories out of plain, average, ordinary people like Robin and me.” As Comrade Trump and Fox News never tire of telling us, media needs grist for its never-ending 24/7 mill. As Vladimir Putin’s minions would tell you, hacking makes it a hell of a lot easier.
  5. “It’s sometimes difficult to think clearly when you’re strapped to a printing press.” Hmmm, wouldn’t if be fun to strap Comrade Trump and Vladimir Putin to a printing press…

Batman

5. Robin: “You can’t get away from Batman that easy!”

Batman: “Easily.”

Robin: “Easily.”

Batman: “Good grammar is essential, Robin.”

Robin: “Thank you.”

Batman: “You’re welcome.”

Dearies, never has there been a greater need for both civility, and good grammar. Bigly! Canadian, American and European politicians are constantly breaking new ground in nastiness. And in the Ukraine, why they just throw their politicians into the dumpster Listen to any of Canada’s CBC (Our version of The Beeb) radio’s news broadcasts, and you will want to throw yourself in front of a bus, over the appalling grammar.

Batman Pharoah

6. “Yes, he moves very quickly for an overstuffed and unlikely Egyptian Pharaoh” Dearies, I admit to almost being at a loss with this one. No, hold on, am getting a picture of Governor Chris Christie in my mind…

  1.  Robin: “Let’s go!”

Batman: “Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern.” Dearies, haven’t been in a drinking tavern in years. Have left all that to Steve Bannon. Funny how in the US you can do your grocery shopping and buy all the alcohol you need at the same time. Here in Cantada, well British Columbia to be exact, I have to go to the government liquor store to buy my champers.

Batman Robin Chief OHara Commiss Gordon

8. Chief O’Hara: “Will you be wanting extra police protection?”

Batman: “No thank you, Chief O’Hara. This time I think Robin and I better go at it alone. Any large contingent of police officers might create unnecessary confusion.

Well, this is a no-brainer – If I see one more cheesy photo-op of Comrade Trump and gaggles of law-enforcement officers, am going to puke!

Batman Catwoman

9. “Catwoman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent, and insegrievious.”I just adore that word insegrievious. Am going to make it my word of the month. And how anyone could find the delectable Julie Newmar odious, is beyond me.

Batman

10. “Robin: Where’d you get a live fish, Batman?”

Batman: “The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.”

Dearies, it is quite clear to me that Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and the usual GOP Jesus suspects have NEVER lived by this critical rule

Batman Words 3

11.  “It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park”. Will keep this in mind while watching the next episode of “Homeland” or during the next ICE raids rounding up “illegal immigrants”.

12.   “No, Robin. With my head sticking out of this neosaurus costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run of the mill crimefighter.”  Said Attorney General Jeff Sessions to to no one in particular.

13. .“Bartender, a bit of advice. Always inspect a jukebox carefully. These machines can be deadly.”  This ad hominem always worked well on “Cheers” and in various pubs in Northern Ireland.

14. “Let that be a lesson. In future, be more careful from who you accept free lemonade.”  With apologies to those in Jonestown but not those in The Tea Party…

Batman Robin Climbing Bldg

15.  (after coming through Barbara’s window): “We would have entered the building by more conventional means, but we didn’t want to startle the tenants.”  I believe the Navy Seals who found and killed Osama Bin Laden, live by this motto.

Thank You Thelonius Armstrong.

So Dearies, after putting these thoughts to paper, metaphorically speaking, am starting to breathe a bit easier, to feel a certain heaviness lifting off my chest. Feel somewhat re-enerergized and ready to fight yet another day in the trenches. All thanks to the Original Guys in Tights, those fearless and pithy crimefighters, The Caped Crusader and Robin.

They weren’t slick, they weren’t technologically advanced. They just got the job done. And made us laugh along the way. Raising a glass of champers to Batman and Robin, and All Who Sailed with Them…

***Footnote: Raising a glass or 3 in Memory of The ONLY Batman who could make us laugh, the late Adam West. To Live in Hearts We Leave Behind, Is Not to Die.

Batman Alfred 2