Tag Archives: Herr Harper

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

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The Rise and Fall of Canada’s Fourth Reich

Harper Netanyahu

Dearies, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is the country’s most reviled leader since…well, forever. He has dragged this once proud nation down through the mud, pitting Canadians against one another.

It is with a heavy heart that I write my thoughts here. I do not take this lightly…

In Franklin Shaffer’s 1978 thriller The Boys From Brazil, based on the Ira Levin novel, “Dr. Josef Mengele (Gregory Peck) clones Hitler 95 times, and hopes to raise the resulting boys in Brazil, giving them childhoods identical to Hitler’s. His ultimate plan is to create a band of Nazi leaders that can continue where Hitler left off, forming the Fourth Reich”. He then sends them out into the World, to be activated in the future. He is pursued by aging Nazi Hunter Sir Laurence Olivier.

Bear with me here, Dearies. My theory is that Stephen Harper is indeed one of those very boys… metaphysically speaking.

Preston Manning   Brian Mulroney & Reagan

Stephen Harper has overseen the final transformation of the far right-wing evangelical Alberta Alliance Party into the most corrupt iteration of the once proud Conservative Party of Canada (as if that were possible, after Brian Mulroney).  He has outdone even the Godfather, Preston Manning. Any comparisons to the GOP Tea Party and its minions, are well-earned. It is almost as if they were functioning by the same play book.

Veterans Slush Fund    MMIW   Leona Aglukkaq

From cutting Veterans Benefits – THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME,  to saying in a nationally televised interview, that 1,200 Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (#MMIW) are not really on his radar-THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME! To Inuit seniors being reduced to scavenging for food in dumpsters, while Herr Harper’s handmaiden and House Eskimo Nunavut Minister Leona Aglukkaq sulks behind a newspaper in Parliament – THIS IS CANADA’S SHAME! To denying needy Veteran’s medical and pension claims and forcing them to PROVE that they have lost limbs, every three years… and on and on and on, ad nauseam. It does not get more shameful than this.

Stephen Harper has pretty much prorogued Parliament since he first became Prime Minister. He has shut down parliamentary and national debate at every level… so much for Democracy. At the very same time he has revved up a Goebbels-like propaganda machine, the likes of which this country has never seen.

Harper  Nunavut Dump  Polar Bears

At the expense of the Canadian Taxpayer he has stage-managed his very own Nuremberg Rallies, The Conservative Party of Canada version is constantly staged photo ops with military personnel – while cynically denying them benefits and aid. More photo ops in the North, a smiling Harper in traditional parka, avoids the still smoldering Nunavut Trash Dump and melting icecaps where polar bears are the canary in that coalmine.

The virtual Nuremberg Rallies take place on social media, because after all, the Conservatives are nothing if not social media savvy. Citizenship and Immigration Canada touting “economic workers” and fast-tracking “economic immigrants” with $$$ is beyond cynical. It translates into either offshore buyers mainly from Asia and South Asia who scoop up expensive real estate in Vancouver and Toronto and do NOT become residents… to poor workers coming to low-paying jobs that are in essence taking those same low-paying jobs away from Canadians. It doesn’t get more cynical than this.

Canadas Economic Action Plan Penises  Immigration Canada  Caribou Mark Carney

Oh wait a moment, yes it does Dearies. Canada’s Economic Action Plan is bombarding the airwaves. As real put-food on the table and a roof-over-your-head jobs disappear, the Tar Sands miracle evaporates, and the Loonie plummets – The Conservatives and Harper would have us believe that we never had it so good. The Canadian Economy continues to tank, and the first sign of that was a subtle one methinks – Former Governor of the Bank of Canada Mark Carney deserts the sinking ship to sail to Old Blighty and become Governor of the Bank of England.

There is indeed a sucker born every minute. And Canadians have to be some of the biggest suckers in the world. Somebody keeps voting Herr Harper and his henchmen into power, and it sure as hell isn’t me…

Harper Hugs Baird peter-mackay-wears-no-compromise-pro-gun-t-shirt  Julian Fantino Rob and Doug Ford

You are often judged by the company you keep. As Canada’s Commander-in-Chief, Stephen Harper helped create such monstrous buffoons as former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford ( and big bro Doug). This drug-addicted trash-talking mayor of Canada’s largest city made it and the country the punchline of late-night comedy jokes. Former Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird failed to secure the release of Canadian journalist Mohamed Fahmy from an Egyptian jail, mollified Vladmir Putin and then jumped ship when the going got rough. Former Defence and now Minister of Injustice Peter MacKay is a gun activist and flyweight supreme. Former Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino insulted Veterans and cut their hard-won  benefits, Former Health and now Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq is virtually overseeing the genocide of her own People: seniors and others starving, astronomical youth suicide rates and ironically enough as “Environment” Minister, the melting of the Arctic.

Patrick Brazeau  Idle No More   temporary-shelter-in-attawapiskat (1)

Oh yes, we cannot forget former patronage appointee Conservative Senator Patrick Brazeau, abuser of women, who now runs a strip club steps away from Parliament Hill. Adding to Canada’s international shame is the determined effort of the Harper Cons to scrap First Nations consultations and negotiations while ramming through pipelines and tanker ports. Not to mention keeping First Nations and Metis peoples living in Third World Conditions… Atawapiskat amongst others is the poster-child for genocide by a thousand cuts

goebbels  pierre poilievre   CBC  Mansbridge

The Harper version of The Night of the Long Knives has been to muzzle the press and character assassinate anyone and I do mean ANYONE who speaks out against him. The once proud CBC has been co-opted to act as the Conservative Party PR machine. Propaganda Minister Pierre Poilievre is casting his taxpayer-funded vanity ad net everywhere, and Nightly News anchor Peter Mansbridge fits right in. Is it just me Dearies, or do they bear a startling resemblance to Josef Goebbels? But I digress…

Mike Duffy  IMG_4959.JPG.jpeg

Wait, what light through yonder window breaks? ‘Tis Mike Duffy and the Senate Scandal, and “Anti-Terror” Bill C-51. How  ironic is it that an old CBC hack and blowhard may issue the first crack in the Conservative Party warship hull. And speaking of war, Herr Harper has stricken fear in the hearts of Canadians – fear of “terrorists”, fear of one another. Of course he is the only one capable of saving us from ourselves and the Democracy that my father and grandfather fought for…ergo Bill C-51.

Harpers With Cats

So Dearies, methinks there is just no getting around making comparisons to the last days of The Third Reich, and the twilight of the Alliance/Conservative Party of Canada. Laureen Harper, that Stepford First Lady, plays Eva to her husband’s Fuehrer. They are both hunkered down in the Bunker…that metapyhisical closet,  surrounded by sycophants.

If ever there was a time for the Forces of Good to rise up against the Forces of Evil, the time is now. If Canadians fail to excercise their franchise, they will continue to struggle in The Darkness that they have earned.

This cannot end well for Harper and the “Conservative” Party..but the damage they have done to Canada is irreparable. And for that…THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED!