Tag Archives: Kinder Morgan

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 7

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Well Dearies, The Bundy Militia Stand-Off in Oregon has entered a new phase. Ammon Bundy and 5 of his posse were arrested en route to a community meeting in the city of John Day. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed.  As someone tweeted, at least he provided his own body-bag (he was Blue Tarp Man – sitting under a blue tarp with a gun in his lap, during the Occupation).  Here’s hoping that Orange will be the new Bundy Black, but it’s anyone’s guess where things go from here. Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts even made Ammon his very own doughnut…

Voodoo Donuts Ammon Bundy DOnut

Speaking of Orange being the new Black,  Karma has finally bitten David Dalieden and Sandra Merritt in the butt. Harris, Texas DA Devon Anderson turned the tables on these slimy creators of the notorious fake Planned Parenthood videos, and instead of indicting that organization, indicted Dalieden and Merritt, for tampering with government files. Their Center for Medical Progress twitter feed has gone silent. In all fairness, this delicious and ironic twist has been a long time in coming. When I open Miss Myrtle’s  Heroes Hall of Fame, Ms. Anderson will be one of the first Inductees.

david-daleiden-susan-merritt-e1453764045101

In the Bizzaro World of Donald Trump, Cirque Du Toupee just received an endorsement from Sarah Palin, and although I can not decipher its total meaning (cracking the Enigma Code was tougher – with apologies to Alan Turing), have no doubt that she is angling for a spot on The Ticket. Trump/Palin 2016 has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it. Ms. Palin had to leave her endorsement press conference to go bail out here wayward son Track Palin, who had just been arrested for domestic violence. But not before she blamed President Obama for her son’s behaviour and PTSD. Sarah has been busy, what with her unmarried daughter Bristol, spokesperson for Abstinence Is Us, giving birth to a second grandchild over the Holidays.  I for one, am salivating at the prospect of a Trump/Palin run. They are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Trump Palin Im With Stupid Track Palin1 palin-pregnant-daughter

Meanwhile, back here in Beautiful British Columbia, Premier Christy Clark, our very own Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing is busy posing for cheesy photo-ops with Search and Rescue Teams whose budgets SHE CUT…crowing about the paltry thousands she is graciously giving them. She is also trying to ram through the Kinder Morgan Pipeline Project, transporting Alberta Tar Sands sludge through much of pristine BC, to the Coast, and on to the rapacious Asian market. This is the same broad who wanted to close a major connector, The Burrard Bridge, for yoga classes. Talk about downward dog…

Christy Clark BC Tourism Caribou

While I usually rant about one corporation or another, have given this space to the imploding Republican Party. The Grand Old Party has Teddy Roosevelt, and so many others, turning over in their graves. As Republican Party National Committee Chairman Reince Prebus so blithely tweets… “Great job Gov Nikki Haley! Fantastic balance and substance. Our party is the new, young and diverse party!” – in response to President Obama‘s final State of the Nation address. Balance and substance are the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is. The carnage wrought upon American cities and states by GOP troglodytes  is truly breath-taking…The Bigger The Lie! The GOP has lost its moral compass.

GOP Toon NEw Yorker  PRO REPUBLICAN REINCE PREBUS

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, who is trying to spin his way out of the fact that he poisoned tens of thousands of Flint residents, many of whom are from the black community, while crowing about saving millions as a tough Republican wise-ass. Social advocate and brilliant documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has launched an #ArrestGovSnyder twitter campaign that we all must support.The Flint Water Crisis underscores the fact that the GOP have not only lost their way, they have lost their moral compass. Re-christened his twitter moniker @onetoughnerd to @onetoughturd.

Flint Pat Bagely

Joining him in Hell, is James Monroe High School Principal Brendan Lyons. Lyons forced the resignation of beloved and award-winning teacher Tom Porton, in the Bronx. Porton, who is a National Teachers Hall of Fame Inductee, has been honored by the City of New York and The Kennedy Centre for The Arts. His legion of student-supporters grows every year. His ground-breaking and life-changing AIDS activism put him at loggerheads with Brendan Lyons, who needs to go and stand in the corner! Meanwhile, Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin was found “almost certain” to have ordered the polonium poisoning of yet another political critic Alexander Litvinenko by the official British inquiry into his murder. The bodies of journalists and others who oppose Putin’s quest for nothing less than total world domination, continue to pile up.

  Tom Porton      Brendan Lyons   Litivenenko 

Honestly Dearies, my head is exploding and it is only January 29, 2016. The Iowa Caucus is on Monday. There are times when I wish I could just go into a coma until November 8. Must break out the Talisker and have a dram or 5. Part 8 to follow soon.

Many Thanks To:  Looney Tunes, Daryl Cagle @dcagle Barry Blitt http://barryblitt.com/, The New Yorker @NewYorker Pat Bagley @Patbagley

Links You May Find Interesting:  @Ammon_Bundy  @christyclarkbc  @CtrMedProgress @onetoughnerd

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for new Inductees: @MissMyrtle2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame – Part 2

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Dearies, here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. Here are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Former Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin  is the gift that keeps on giving. Her incoherent rambling speech at the recent Iowa Freedom Summit had folks rolling in the aisles. Methinks she is Speaking in Tongues. Governor Chris Christie has lost the respect he gained during Hurricane Sandy and continues to bumble his way towards a Presidential Run. He truly does remind us of Schultz in Hogan’s Heroes. And then there is that opportunistic fly weight John Baird. Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs is deserting Prime Minister Harper’s rapidly sinking ship. An early pension and lucrative job offers are on the horizon. In announcing his resignation in Parliament, Baird provoked the Michael Corleone hug from his Boss, Consigliere Harper. We know it was you Fredo!

John McCain, Sarah Palin  Chris Christie as Schultz   Harper Hugs Baird

Kim Kardashian’s Ass is also the gift that keeps on giving. It’s everywhere, every hour of every day. When it’s not shilling for some lamebrane product, its chillin with hubby Kanye West – that model of modesty and self-restraint. How, you may ask does an Ass get inducted into the RCIHOF? I will leave that to your imaginations.  Chuck Todd or Todd Chuckles as he is known in our house, is the host of Meet the Depressing, oops the Press. Dearies, methinks he should be arrested and charged with Pandering. You may not be aware of this, but that infamous wit, raconteur and paragon of virtue Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has been elected chairman of the African Union. If only the International Criminal Court could get their hands on him, for the genocide of his people…

Kim Kardashian   Chuck Todd  Mugabe

Speaking of Robert Mugabe Dearies, when I tweeted a response to Human Rights Watch’s Kenneth Roth, about Mugabe’s new appointment, the Mugabe Trolls came out in force. None was more self-righteous than George Kibe. George immediately responded with “take your ignorance and arrogance to hell.colonialists and scavangers have no place in africa.u r murderers and robbers.shame.”   When I countered that he, Mugabe and his cronies need only look into the mirror to find murderers and robbers, he lost it. Now keep in mind that this is a troll whose profile quotation is “love can turn the world”. Those who do not learn from history are definitely doomed to repeat it… Sigh. Congressman and former Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan never ceases to amaze. This on-and-off darling of the Tea Party, just proposed over 1 billion dollars in legislation as new chairman of the Ways and Means Committee. How’s that for being a fiscal conservative and deficit hawk! Canada’s very own House Eskimo Leona Aglukkaq makes me ashamed to share citizenship. Our Minister of the Environment (the most cynical appointment ever) has demanded apologies from constituents who had the balls to point out the fact that seniors in her riding of Nunavut were starving to death and reduced to scavenging in dumpsters. SHAME ON HER AND SHAME ON CANADA!

George Kibe   r-PAUL-RYAN-large570     Leona Aglukkaq

Kinder Morgan that beacon of phosphorescent light in the oil biz, never ceases to amaze. From having elderly pipeline protesters arrested to flooding our TV screens with warm fuzzy PR ads about what responsible corporate citizens they are, there is no pristine environment that they aren’t willing to trash in order to make that almighty buck. Kinder Morgan Canada President Ian Anderson is a chump for the ages. Treasure Valley Wines, whose saccharine name belies a Chinese investment group that is buying up Australian and other wineries. These guys who also go by the name 1847 Winery, are the HSBC of vintners. SHAME ON Sue and John Curnow FOR SELLING OUT!  How could Target Canada have missed the mark so badly? That pusillanimous purveyor of stuff has gone back to the US with its tail between its legs, leaving thousands of employees and suppliers holding the bag. Oh, and let’s not forget… the Canadian taxpayer too.

Kinder Morgan   yaldara-july-28-breakouyt   Target Canada

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like Eric Dejaeger. The 67-year-old ex-priest was found guilty of sexually abusing children in Nunavut 30 years ago. The abuse of Canada’s First Nations and Inuit Peoples is our National Shame. The Residential School Scandal must never be forgotten and people like Dejaegar held accountable. Joining Dejaeger will be Jonathan Weisbard, the Assistant Attorney General, for demeaning the teacher wh o is suing the state after being raped and nearly killed after administering a test at an Arizona prison. In his report Weisbard wrote “Plaintiff wants to create an artificial impression that the ADOC officers knew she was in danger but she did not know, It makes no sense. Of course, if Plaintiff did appreciate the danger of her situation, as an employee, she could have done something about it.”. This man is a disgrace to the office, the state of Arizona, and humanity in general.  Finally, Boko Haram have taken us back to Stone Age. With their complete subversion of Islam, drug-fuelled hatred of women, peace and democracy, they make the Neanderthals look positively cultured. We must never forget to #BringBackOurGirls!

Eric Dejaeger    Jonathan Weisbard   Boko-Haram_0

Am going to stop here. Badly need a dram or 5. We have so many more Inductees to feature…stay tuned for Part 3

YOUR NOMINATIONS & COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED