The Kansas City Royals and American Pharoah Saved 2015

Dearies, have not written about American Pharoah capturing the almost unattainable Triple Crown and The Kansas City Royals coming back from the abyss to win the World Series, for fear that I would wake up and discover that it had all been a dream. A glorious dream, but none the less the gossamer wings of a dream…

American Pharoah (2)  Kansas City Royals Win World Series

As we enter 2016, am finding it difficult to express my sorrow over the horrific global events  of 2015. The Paris, San Bernardino and Charleston Church terrorist attacks have turned the World on its head. We have been shaken to our core.

Paris After ISIS Attacks 2 San Bernardino Charleston Church Victims

The continuing genocide in Syria with the relentless bombings of Syrian citizens by Vladimir Putin and Bashar Al-Assad, created a humanitarian crisis the likes of which the World has not seen since World War 2. The deliberate starvation of of Madaya and Zabadani, the flight of Syrian Refugees and our failure to act, have almost paralyzed us.

Syrian Refugee Camp  Alan Kurdi  ISIS Flag

The year started with the horrific massacre of French political cartoonists at Charlie Hebdo, the satirical magazine, by Al Quaeda. Al Shabaab, an Al Queda branch, murders 148 at Garissa University College in Kenya. ISIS – the radical Sunni brand, expands its House of War – exploiting the chaos of the Middle East, to Europe and beyond. Disenfranchised youth from around the World are answering their siren call. ISIS continued its public beheadings, the murder and sexual enslavement of tens of thousands of citizens trapped in their grasp and the destruction of historic landmarks,.

No one in their right mind could have predicted the rise of bombastic, bloviating buffoon Donald Trump. His high-jacking of the Republican Party and polarizing of The Angry American Right Wing is breathtaking to contemplate. The GOP Clown Car is full: Space-cadet Ben Carson proves that going off of your psych meds can be a very dangerous thing, and Carly Fiorina demonstrates that grinding Hewlett Packard into the dust was just a warm-up for a Presidential run.  Jeb Bush underscores the fact that Dubya was indeed a doofus. Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio are embarrassments to their Hispanic roots: Mike Huckabee and rest of this motley crew prove that GOP Jesus is a vengeful, hateful, hypocrite. NEVER in its history has the GOP sunk this low. Teddy Roosevelt is turning over in his grave!

GOP Clown Car Toon (2)    Donald Trump Putin Horse BFFs

Canada’s very own fascists, The Alliance Party-In-Conservative-Clothing, were vanquished by an angry Canadian electorate. Stephen Harper was relegated to the dustbin of History. The Liberal Party and Justin Trudeau – son of late Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau were elected by acclamation. Mine was not one of his votes, but I do wish he and his Cabinet well. They have the Herculean task of undoing nearly 10 years of Harper damage. Especially wish my friend Harjit Sajjan well, as new Defense Minister. Australia’s ruling Liberal Party dumped their despotic leader, Prime Minister Tony Abbott.

HarperTrudeau Cabinet Tony Abbott

But I digress…

Watching American Pharoah and jockey Victor Espinoza romp home in the Kentucky Derby, for trainer Bob Baffert and Owner Ahmed Zayat, had my heart pounding. His victory in the Preakness Stakes left me breathless and fearfully hopeful. But his victory in the Belmont Stakes in early June, accomplished what no other horse has since Affirmed and jockey Steve Cauthen in 1978…They won the Triple Crown. It was the same feeling of elation I had, being at Belmont to see Affirmed win. The Heart of a Champions is biggest of all…

American Pharoah KD WinnersCircle

And then, that Cinderella of baseball teams, the Kansas City Royals – who knew only too well that defeat can be snatched from the jaws of victory, made it into the World Series again, looking to end a 30-year drought. What General Manager Dayton Moore and Manager Ned Yost did for team owner David D. Glass was magical. Salvador Perez, Drew Butera, Lorenzo Cain, Christian Colon, Johnny Cueto, Wade Davis,  Danny Duffy,  Jarrod Dyson, Alcides Escobar,  Alex Gordon, Kelvin Herrera, Luke Hochevar, Eric Hosmer, Ryan Madson, Kris Medlen, Raul Mondesi, Franklin Morales, Kendrys Morales, Mike Mousakis, Paulo Orlando, Alex Rios, Yordano Ventura, Edinson Volquez, Ben Zobrist  all played with The Heart of Champions.

KC Royals

So it comes down to this – Did Kansas City winning the World Series or American Pharoah winning the Triple Crown, stop the bombing in Syria, the carnage in Paris or the chaos in the Middle East? No, they did not. But sport is also  a metaphor for Life.

As that great wit and raconteur, the late and much-missed Yogi Berra said, it ain’t over til it’s over. Terrorism, genocide, refugee crisis’ – man’s inhumanity to man, will always be with us. Thankfully, the Kansas City Royals and American Pharoah continue to write their stories.  There will always be another pennant to chase, a baby champion to create  and an impossible race or game to win.

And there will always be a reason for Hope in The Better Angels of Our Nature.


Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 3

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Oh that wacky Dominique Strauss-Kahn – he’s at it again. This time, he’s being tried in Paris for pimping. I suppose that his tenure as head of the IMF- International Monetary Fund was a fertile training ground. As if his total humiliation in New York when he was charged with raping a hotel maid wasn’t enough… And then, I am saddened to say, we have NBC Nightly News Anchor Brian Williams, whose embellished retelling of an Iraq incident has resulted in his 6 month suspension without pay. There has been more than enough lying about Iraq, by the previous Bush Administrations, so am glad that Williams may return, a chastened man. We hold our true journalists to a higher standard. Faux News, those faux journalists…have NO standards. Eve Adams is not a household name here in Canada, she is more of a Sun News/tabloid star. Her Blondness was a potential star in Canada’s Conservative Party when she and her boyfriend Dimitri Soudas brought down the wrath of God a.ka. Stephen Harper, and were banished. Presto chango- they have just turned up as new stars of the Canadian Liberal Party Team. This pair are two of the biggest airheads and opportunists on the political scene, and that says a lot!

Dominique Strauss Kahn   brian williams Soudas Harper Mays

Christine Fernandez de Kirchner, President of Argentina is trying to distance herself from collusion in the murder of her prosecutor Alberto Nisman, who was about to blow the whistle on Iran’s involvement in the fatal bombing of the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires in 1992. Dearies, the Boys from Brazil are still running much of South America… and so it seems are the Girls. The Liberal Party of Canada, under the leadership of the young Justin Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau had been progressing along fairly well until he called a Press Conference to introduce the newest member of his 2015 Election Team, defector Eve Adams. Florida Rep D. Alan Hays is a retired dentist. He is demanding that all 8th graders watch a conservative movie America: Imagine the World Without Her. He introduced state Senate Bill 96  to combat what he sees as the “erroneous” and “anti-American” content of American history classes.

Christina Fernandez   adams-trudeau    AlanHays

Dinesh D’Souza is the conservative “filmmaker” who crafted the mediocrity that is America: Imagine the World Without Her.  Apparently the movie is so bad that Roger Ebert panned it and Rotten Tomatoes awarded it 8%.** Speaking of getting panned, the perpetually petulant Kanye West continues to inject himself into other’s important moments in the spotlight, as he did at the Grammys, again, when Beck received his award. Borrring! Rude! Tedious! How has this guy been allowed to procreate? Although, it does seem totally fair that he is married to another previous Inductee-Kim Kardashian’s Ass. Then there are The Anti Vaxxers, championed by GOP Rand Paul and Chris Christie***. These are the neanderthals who refuse to vaccinate their children. They are selfishly and callously exposing young children with life-threatening illnesses like Dr. Timothy Jacks’ 2 yr. old daughter, who has leukemia, to measles, while undergoing chemotherapy -potentially lifethreatening measles. SHAME!

dinesh dsouza   KANYE_3192313c   Measles Chris Christy Rand Paul

Dearies, Citizenship and Immigration Canada, a direct arm of the Conservative Party is in a Pre-Election frenzy., Their twitter feed has gone into overdrive promoting two highly dubious programs, both at taxpayer expense, naturally. As if the McDonald’s temporary worker scandal of 2014 wasn’t fresh enough in voters minds, CIC is flogging the “economic worker” program. Who the hell came up with that moniker? Whether temporary or economic, it all translates into low-paying jobs for foreign workers and no jobs for Canadians! And then there is the “Parent and Grandparent Super Visa”program. I swear, it is impossible to make this stuff up. Directly pandering to the huge Asian and South Asian voting blocks, the govt is cheerily tweeting that the “This visa is valid for up to 10 years and will let you visit your family in Canada for up to two years without renewing your status” Forgive me while I punch a hole in the wall… And then there is HSBC, the Hong Kong Shanghai Bank, that beacon of fiduciary responsibility and rapacious reach. A  new global scandal has emerged that HSBC tax documents show they helped wealthy clients hide billions, including Canadian clients. LOL, if one more person tells me that the Brits bought the bank from the Chinese, am going to puke. Puppetmasters, Dearies. The Chinese own just about everyone everywhere. From the global, to the minute, we turn our unwelcome attention to AMC Tallahassee. The theatre chain succumbed to political blackmail and is screening the aforementioned epic America: Imagine the World Without Her. Can tell you from experience Dearies, getting a national theatre chain to screen a film WITHOUT a distributor is impossible!

Gov-t-of-Canada-logo         hsbc-logo            amc-logo

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like West Virgina Rep Brian Kurcaba. Mr. Kurcaba opined that rape “can be a beautiful thing when a baby is the result”. When pressed that perhaps he had misplaced his adjectives, he insisted that he should be taken at his word. The Saudi Royal Family truly are the gift that keeps on giving. When George Dubya’s buddy King Abdullah died recently, the world turned out to grovel at the state funeral.. oil prices being what they are. The funeral revived gossip that The Royal Family were directly involved in 9/11 and other terrorist acts around the globe. It also shone a spotlight on rumours of Family members funding ISIS, Al Quaeda, the Taliban and other terrorist groups.  Finally we come to KKK Mouthpiece Alabama Justice Roy Moore. This sorry excuse for a jurist and human being, said that he “blocked gay marriages because father-daughter weddings were next!” ** He struck down the Supreme Court decision, arguing of course that this is a State issue, not a Federal one. So much for the Constitution…

Brian Kurcaba  r-SAUDI-ARABIA-PRINCE-large570  Roy Moore

Must stop for now Dearies. Need a dram or five… so many Inductees, so little time.

Stay tuned for Part 4


** Thanks to Raw Story   *** Thanks to Mel Neuhaus @acehanna54