Tag Archives: RCIHOF

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 10

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

boris-and-natasha1

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, have spent much of the last two weeks curled up in a fetal ball, unable to come to grips with the fact that America has a new President-Elect – and it is Donald Trump. Am inducting Don The Con as our RCIHOF Lifetime Achievement winner.

Election 2016 has sucked the life out of me, and am sure many of you too. The corrosive divisiveness of Trump’s campaign rhetoric, combined with the avalanche of dezinformatsiya that culminated in the unprecedented interference of FBI Director James Comey at the 11th hour, was too much to bear. Oh yes, there is also the matter of the Hillary Clinton winning the Popular Vote by the largest margin in history… and the Electoral College.

trump-obama

American mainstream and cable media disgraced themselves over the past 18 months by responding to all the dog-whistles,conspiracy theories and fake news stories. They overlooked the BIGGEST story of the century. I have my own conspiracy theory, please indulge me here. I believe that Vladimir Putin compromised Donald Trump, Julian Assange ergo Wikileaks, and others in and outside of the US government, to subvert the results of the American Election. How convenient that NSA whistleblower/traitor Edward Snowden is now living in the Moscow area.

It hit me when I was lying on the sofa, listlessly channel surfing to numb the pain. I started watching old reruns of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.Who knew Rocky and Bullwinkle were prescient when they introduced us to Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale from 1959-1964. What we fell in love with as children is now an eerie but delicious metaphor: Putin is Fearless Leader, bent on nothing short of total World Domination; Trump is his inept pawn and buffoon Boris Badenov and Melania Trump is the Putin honey-pot Natasha Fatale.

boris-and-natasha1

Putin: I put my evil genius mind to work At last I have the answer

Melania: You are so bad you’re good!

Trump: It is good to be bad!

Speaking of being compromised by Putin, Green Party Leader  Jill Stein and Trump National Security Advisor pick Lt. General Mike Flynn joined Fearless Leader in Moscow for a propaganda soiree,earlier this year. What could possibly go wrong with that? Governor Gary Johnson didn’t need any help from the Kremlin to sabotage his own pathetic campaign. Who can forget his “What’s Aleppo?” moment. Both he and Stein managed to syphon off a small percentage of the vote from Hillary Clinton. Many of those angry Bernie Sanders protest voters helped Putin hand Trump the victory on a platter. And how about those voting machine hacks…

flynn-putin-moscow

So now, we have the new dog and pony show with Jill Stein soliciting millions of dollars to force a recount in at least three swing-states and a panic about the Electoral College confirmation on December 19 . Frankly, I don’t have enough cases of single malt on hand to make it through until then.

What if the election results are overturned? What if Trump is disqualified for any of a thousand reasons before Inauguration Day in January??? The thought of a potential Mike Pence presidency is equally terrifying – perhaps that was the plan all along. All I see when I look at that man is a white sheet with pointy hood…

mike-pence-conversion-therapy-meme

And so we lurch from day to day and crisis to crisis as Cirque Du Toupee rolls on… a whirlwind of chaos, leaving total destruction wherever it goes. The GOP has been hijacked by its most racist, homophobic, evangelical, misogynist elements – or maybe it has reverted to its true form. A narcissistic, bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon who cannot stop looking in the mirror at his own reflection may indeed become the 45th President of the United States. Would somebody please wake us from this horrific nightmare!

dt-putin-mirror-david-horsey

 

Many Thanks to David Horsey @davidhorsey  for his Trump/Putin cartoon and  for his Mike Pence meme

 

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Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame (RCIHOF) – Part 1

Illegitimi Non Carborundum – Don’t Let The Bastards Grind You Down

Dearies, it is absolutely impossible to get through a day without witnessing gobsmacking, as my friend N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S.™ says, Dumbfuckery.

I have therefore decided to honor those who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked. The RCIHOF is a registered non-profit, although Revenue Canada may not see it that way.

Began this wee project in 2014, and realized that there would really never be a finite date of completion. This truly is the Never Ending Story…

Would like to recap our recent Inductees for your predilection and INVITE YOU share your nominees at any time…

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Here in no particular order are your Inductees:

Fox News, for their incomparable search for the Untruth. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s Economic Action Plan for using taxpayer’s dollars on campaign ads. Senator Joni Ernst for her gobsmacking response to President Obama’s State of the Union address and so much else…

FoxNews   Canadas Economic Action Plan Penises   JoniErnst

House Speak John Boehner for cat-wrangling the GOP. Benjamin Netanyahu for subverting justice and humanity everywhere. The Honorable Kerry Lynne Findlay, Minister of National Revenue for overseeing the farce that has become Prime Minister Harper’s CRA – Canada’s version of the IRS…

Boehner Netenyahu  Kerry Lynne Findlay and PM Harper

Goldman Sachs for their ongoing warm and fuzzy advertising. There is no doubt yet another mammoth scandal is about to blow. Chip Wilson, the clueless Canadian CEO of Lululemon whose hubris is as big as the 2,500 sq.ft dock he wants to build on British Columbia’s Sunshine Coast. Dick Cheney for his great humanitarian work…

Goldman-Sachs-Executive-f-004  Chip Wilson    DCheney

Judge Jeanine Pirro for her obvious self-loathing and hatred of everyone else…plus a dangerously low IQ. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper for dragging this country through the mud…one of The Boys From Brazil. Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister and betrayer of principles…avid personal wealth and glory accruer.

Jeanine Pirro     PM Harper Emperor    Tony Blair2

Bill O’Reilly that wacky Irish wit, raconteur and Fox News beacon of darkness. The Donald Trump self-made capitalist windbag, all-round nasty guy and flyweight. The Honourable Peter MacKay (obviously Dearies, Honourable is a real Canadian misnomer), that political flyweight and Canada’s answer to the Teabaggers Sarah Palin and Joni Ernst.

Bill O'Reilly   Donald   peter-mackay-wears-no-compromise-pro-gun-t-shirt

Sheriff Joseph Arpaio, a true American patriot-not. The Donald Trump’s law enforcement doppleganger. FYI Joe, doppleganger means a look-alike harbinger of bad luck … not another gangbanger. Harbinger means…oh to hell with it. Don Lemon, that aptly named CNN guy who should really be sitting behind a Fox News Desk. Former Canadian Senator and CBC News shill Mike Duffy. Ironically might have the power to bring down this Imperial Stephen Harper government. Wears public disgrace as a badge of honour.

Joe Arpaio3   Don Lemon   Mike Duffy

Halliburton, that ethically minded offshoot of former Vice President and humanitarian Dick Cheney (see above). A multinational oil conglomerate with tentacles that reach everywhere.Monsanto that model of successful global domination-genetically modifying our food and our minds. Tim Hortons, that great Canadian traitor sells out to Burger King. The late Tim Horton was a mediocre hockey player but his donut empire was epic. Any delusion that Canadians are superior to Americans is sorely misplaced.

Halliburton  Monsanto2    Tim Hortons

The RCMP, Canada’s legendary Royal Canadian Mounted Police. With PR nightmares like officers taking Aboriginal arrestees home for sex, to tasing an unarmed Robert Dziekanski to death at YVR, its time to disband that once honourable outfit. The NYPD for its treatment of folks like Eric Garner. The KKK those wacky cowardly white supremacists and assassins in white bed sheets have infiltrated law enforcement at every level, from police departments to prisons.

Dudley Do Right 6   NYPD   KKK

British Columbia Premier Christy Clark. This Conservative in Liberal clothing is friends with any corporation that wishes to destroy BC’s pristine environment. Soulmate of Prime Minister Stephen Harper. All-round nasty girl. Saudi Arabian Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid issued a fatwa against snowmen. Honestly-it is impossible to make this stuff up. Salman Rushdie is much amused. Dearies, Stedji Brewery in Iceland makes small batch beer with whale testicles. Would love to turn the tables on those brewmasters. Their website says and we quote ” Our brewer is a german genios..”. Am sure he is, and he probably worked with Dr. Mengele.

Christy Clark   Fatwa Snowman   whaleBIG

There is a special place in Hell reserved for Deron Puro and his spawn. When his teenage sons cyber-bullied uber-dad Brad Knudson’s daughter, and Knudson called him out, Puro tried the same. I really hope he has been neutered, Dearies. Under the misguidance of union leader Patrick Lynch, the NYPD has turned its back on the citizens of NYC, not just Mayor De Blasio. There is also a special place in Hell reserved for Bill Cosby, betrayer of trust. The absolute farce of a “comedy tour” in the face of mounting accusations of sexual predator behavior, is beyond nauseating. Not man enough to stand up and face the music, methinks this is going to end very badly for all.

Daron Puro   Patrick Lynch   Bill Cosby 2

Well Dearies, there you have it… a small sampling of our Members of the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. Part 2 of this epic saga follows shortly. Frankly, had to stop here or my head would have exploded.

Once again, we invite you to submit your own Inductees @MissMyrtle2

With Many Thanks to   RCIHOF Patron N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S.™ – Mr. Militant Negro