Tag Archives: Tea Party North

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 6

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, am still reeling and recovering from 2015. It was a horrific year on every front. Am raising a glass of champers in memory of those we lost in Paris, San Bernardino, Charleston, Umpqua, Garissa University, and everywhere our loved ones have been taken from us by gun violence.

Raising another glass to us all, in the hopes that 2016 will be an improvement.

That fervent hope was dashed when Ammon and Ryan Bundy and their Bundy Militia “occupied” the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in  Princeton, Oregon, ostensibly to air land-ownership grievances. This bumbling insurrection spawned the outstanding twitter hashtags #YokelHaram #YallQueda #Talibanjo and many more. The Citizens for Constitutional Freedom began running low on supplies last week and sent out an urgent request to supporters – #SendSnacks. Honestly Dearies, I could not make this up. When care packages began arriving with French Vanilla coffee cream and sex toys, reluctantly coined my own hashtag… #DildosAreUs.

AmmosexualsBundy Militia Toon John Cole   Bundy Militia Recruits Arrive TY IamBlueTrek

That other family Gong Show, fondly known as the GOP Clown Car Presidential Campaign rolls blithely on. The Illuminati continue trying to outrageously outdo one another, but Cirque Du Toupee aka Donald Trump has cornered the market on Hate Fear and Lies . His Hate List has grown from Mexicans/hispanics, blacks, women, workers, unions, The New York Times and yadda yadda yadda, to include Muslims and whatever bogeyman next appears on the horizon . This bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon continues to confound the political pundits. The GOP don’t have the balls to stand up to him. If only Donald Trump’s grasp of The Constitution were as his firm embrace of Mein Kampf...

Donald Trump Putin Horse BFFsAffluenza-duo  Mad Magazine

NEVER has there been a field of Republican incompetents like this one! Ted Cruz of Canadian Birther fame, has just been endorsed by that great patriot Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. Carly Fiorina ground Hewlett-Packard and other companies into the dust as CEO and decided that qualified her to lead The Greatest Nation on Earth. Brain surgeon Ben Carson has apparently gone off his psych meds, and visited Egypt’s Pyramids… oops grain silos, to improve his foreign policy grasp, while Mike Huckabilly palled around with Josh Duggar and Kim Davis, and visited The Flintstones, er, I mean Afghanistan. The list goes on and on and on.

2016_Republican_Clown_Car_Parade_-_Trump_Exta_Special_Edition_(18739683269)

Here in Canada, we are greeting the New Year with hope, having relegated despot Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party to the dustbin of history. The Liberals and Justin Trudeau have the daunting task of restoring Democracy, bolstering an economy of life-support (Harper put all of Canada’s eggs in the Oil Industry Basket) and returning Canada to its rightful place in the community of nations. While I didn’t vote for Trudeau, certainly wish he and The Team well. Tea Party North flyweights Rona Ambrose, Jason Kenney, Michelle Rempel and the rest of  The Can’t Shoot Straight Gang oppose Trudeau at every turn…pretending they didn’t create the mess we find ourselves in. I have a suggestion for these imbeciles – STFU!

Cons Lose Cartoon Malcolm Mayes Tory Caucus

Talk about timing, it’s Oscar Season and The Big Short is now on big-screens everywhere. How appropriate then, that the beacon of Wall Street integrity and financial acumen, Goldman Sachs starts the New Year with a $5 billion dollar settlement for selling fraudulent mortgages, helping to precipitate the Financial Crisis of 2008. Honestly Dearies, GS is The Gift That Keeps On Giving. As does Volkswagen. The US Department of Justice is seeking up to $48 billion dollars in fines for cheating on auto emissions tests. Das Auto … Das Bullshit!

Goldman Sachs Toon Joe Heller  Vokswagen Toon John Darkow

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Bashar Al Assad. Having decimated and dessicrated Syria,  Assad has murdered more than a quarter of a million of his people, many of them children. He has precipitated an international refugee crisis the likes of which have never been seen. The deliberate and calculated starving of Madaya, Foua and Kfaryawere, is unprecedented since Josef Stalin. And the World again stands by and does NOTHING. Joining Assad in Hell is his enabler, Vladimir Putin, who in his maniacal quest for world domination, continues to bomb Syrian children and their families into oblivion. He has also crossed another political opponent off of his Hit List. Author and political commentator Vladimir Pribylovsky was murdered in Moscow earlier this week. Of course there is NO suspect in the crime.  Our final Place in Hell  is reserved for Republican Governor Rick Snyder, who callously and with deliberate calculation allowed the mainly black citizens of Flint, Michigan to be poisoned by their own water. From railing against the Federal government and crowing his own successes, this pathetic hypocrite is now whining for Federal aid while the Flint Water Crisis deepens. As that great filmmaker and social commentator Michael Moore says… #ArrestGovSnyder.

Assad David Simonds bertrams-putin Gov Snyder Mike Thonmpson

We are only halfway through January 2016 and my head is ready to explode Dearies. Will leave it there, crack open a bottle of single malt and ponder the meaning of existence. There are so many potential Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame… and so little time! Your suggestions are always welcome.

Thank You Cartoonists John Cole, Dave Granlund, Donkey Hotey, Malcolm Mayes, Joe Heller, John Darkow, David Simonds, Joep Bertrams, Mike Thompson