Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 3

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Oh that wacky Dominique Strauss-Kahn – he’s at it again. This time, he’s being tried in Paris for pimping. I suppose that his tenure as head of the IMF- International Monetary Fund was a fertile training ground. As if his total humiliation in New York when he was charged with raping a hotel maid wasn’t enough… And then, I am saddened to say, we have NBC Nightly News Anchor Brian Williams, whose embellished retelling of an Iraq incident has resulted in his 6 month suspension without pay. There has been more than enough lying about Iraq, by the previous Bush Administrations, so am glad that Williams may return, a chastened man. We hold our true journalists to a higher standard. Faux News, those faux journalists…have NO standards. Eve Adams is not a household name here in Canada, she is more of a Sun News/tabloid star. Her Blondness was a potential star in Canada’s Conservative Party when she and her boyfriend Dimitri Soudas brought down the wrath of God a.ka. Stephen Harper, and were banished. Presto chango- they have just turned up as new stars of the Canadian Liberal Party Team. This pair are two of the biggest airheads and opportunists on the political scene, and that says a lot!

Dominique Strauss Kahn   brian williams Soudas Harper Mays

Christine Fernandez de Kirchner, President of Argentina is trying to distance herself from collusion in the murder of her prosecutor Alberto Nisman, who was about to blow the whistle on Iran’s involvement in the fatal bombing of the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires in 1992. Dearies, the Boys from Brazil are still running much of South America… and so it seems are the Girls. The Liberal Party of Canada, under the leadership of the young Justin Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau had been progressing along fairly well until he called a Press Conference to introduce the newest member of his 2015 Election Team, defector Eve Adams. Florida Rep D. Alan Hays is a retired dentist. He is demanding that all 8th graders watch a conservative movie America: Imagine the World Without Her. He introduced state Senate Bill 96  to combat what he sees as the “erroneous” and “anti-American” content of American history classes.

Christina Fernandez   adams-trudeau    AlanHays

Dinesh D’Souza is the conservative “filmmaker” who crafted the mediocrity that is America: Imagine the World Without Her.  Apparently the movie is so bad that Roger Ebert panned it and Rotten Tomatoes awarded it 8%.** Speaking of getting panned, the perpetually petulant Kanye West continues to inject himself into other’s important moments in the spotlight, as he did at the Grammys, again, when Beck received his award. Borrring! Rude! Tedious! How has this guy been allowed to procreate? Although, it does seem totally fair that he is married to another previous Inductee-Kim Kardashian’s Ass. Then there are The Anti Vaxxers, championed by GOP Rand Paul and Chris Christie***. These are the neanderthals who refuse to vaccinate their children. They are selfishly and callously exposing young children with life-threatening illnesses like Dr. Timothy Jacks’ 2 yr. old daughter, who has leukemia, to measles, while undergoing chemotherapy -potentially lifethreatening measles. SHAME!

dinesh dsouza   KANYE_3192313c   Measles Chris Christy Rand Paul

Dearies, Citizenship and Immigration Canada, a direct arm of the Conservative Party is in a Pre-Election frenzy., Their twitter feed has gone into overdrive promoting two highly dubious programs, both at taxpayer expense, naturally. As if the McDonald’s temporary worker scandal of 2014 wasn’t fresh enough in voters minds, CIC is flogging the “economic worker” program. Who the hell came up with that moniker? Whether temporary or economic, it all translates into low-paying jobs for foreign workers and no jobs for Canadians! And then there is the “Parent and Grandparent Super Visa”program. I swear, it is impossible to make this stuff up. Directly pandering to the huge Asian and South Asian voting blocks, the govt is cheerily tweeting that the “This visa is valid for up to 10 years and will let you visit your family in Canada for up to two years without renewing your status” Forgive me while I punch a hole in the wall… And then there is HSBC, the Hong Kong Shanghai Bank, that beacon of fiduciary responsibility and rapacious reach. A  new global scandal has emerged that HSBC tax documents show they helped wealthy clients hide billions, including Canadian clients. LOL, if one more person tells me that the Brits bought the bank from the Chinese, am going to puke. Puppetmasters, Dearies. The Chinese own just about everyone everywhere. From the global, to the minute, we turn our unwelcome attention to AMC Tallahassee. The theatre chain succumbed to political blackmail and is screening the aforementioned epic America: Imagine the World Without Her. Can tell you from experience Dearies, getting a national theatre chain to screen a film WITHOUT a distributor is impossible!

Gov-t-of-Canada-logo         hsbc-logo            amc-logo

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like West Virgina Rep Brian Kurcaba. Mr. Kurcaba opined that rape “can be a beautiful thing when a baby is the result”. When pressed that perhaps he had misplaced his adjectives, he insisted that he should be taken at his word. The Saudi Royal Family truly are the gift that keeps on giving. When George Dubya’s buddy King Abdullah died recently, the world turned out to grovel at the state funeral.. oil prices being what they are. The funeral revived gossip that The Royal Family were directly involved in 9/11 and other terrorist acts around the globe. It also shone a spotlight on rumours of Family members funding ISIS, Al Quaeda, the Taliban and other terrorist groups.  Finally we come to KKK Mouthpiece Alabama Justice Roy Moore. This sorry excuse for a jurist and human being, said that he “blocked gay marriages because father-daughter weddings were next!” ** He struck down the Supreme Court decision, arguing of course that this is a State issue, not a Federal one. So much for the Constitution…

Brian Kurcaba  r-SAUDI-ARABIA-PRINCE-large570  Roy Moore

Must stop for now Dearies. Need a dram or five… so many Inductees, so little time.

Stay tuned for Part 4


** Thanks to Raw Story http://www.rawstory.com/   *** Thanks to Mel Neuhaus @acehanna54

In Remembrance…Since humans emerged from the primordial slime, man has waged war.


Since humans emerged from the primordial slime, man has waged war.

And I do say “man” Dearies, because with all of that male testosterone raging, women in general, have kept the home fires burning.

Like other members of the animal kingdom, man has lifted his leg and marked his territory, fighting and dying to protect it.

From Biblical battles, to the Peloponnesian War between Sparta and Athens, to The Crusades,

Thermopylae                    Crusaders

The War of the Roses, The Hundred Years War, The Napoleonic Wars and the Battles of Trafalgar and Waterloo,The War of American Independence, The Civil War, The Anglo-Egyptian War,The Russian Revolution, The Boer War, WW1.

Battle_of_Waterloo_1815  civil-war-generals-and-statesman-with-names-war-is-hell-store

WW1 – The Great War, The War to End All Wars, sadly didn’t. WW2 and the Holocaust followed, the Korean War, The Cold War, Vietnam, Margaret Thatcher’s sort of Falklands War. Ethnic Cleansing became the euphemism for genocide in Bosnia and Rwanda. These are just a few of the many wars waged around the world.

Archduke Ferdinand  hitleer  rwanda

And then came 9/11, and the subsequent War on Terror. Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan/India/Kashmir, Iran, Korea.

twin towers

The Berlin Wall may have come down and détente prevailed, but Vladmir Putin takes Russia’s failed war in Afghanistan and turns to reconsolidating the old Soviet Union, starting with Crimea and the Ukraine.

Hutus/Tutsi, Hindus/Muslims, Israelis/Palestinians, and on and on and on…

The latest global threat is seen as Al Qaeda and ISIS. The radical Islamic World is at war with those who are non-believers. And so, history keeps repeating itself from The Crusades and beyond.

The world’s rivers have run red with blood. Empires have risen and crumbled. Democracy continues to be won and lost.

Canadians are world renown as Peace Makers but we descend from and can be the fiercest of warriors. Canada has never failed to step up to the plate, albeit with quiet humility.

My Canadian grandfather fled the Russian pogroms to join the French Foreign Legion and eventually the British Army in WW1. He married then, and emigrated to Canada to start a new life. A short, wiry, stoic man, he raised 4 children and never talked about the horrors he experienced.

My father lied about his age and joined the Royal Canadian Navy. He served in North Atlantic convoys throughout WW2. His older brothers joined the Navy and the Air Force. While the Navy lads rarely discussed the War, my other uncle was a war artist for the Air Force. He accompanied Canadian troops as they helped liberate the Bergen-Belsen and Buchenwald concentration camps. The horror of what he saw there, forever changed his life and influenced his art.

My father met my mother during a layover in Glasgow, when my Scottish grandfather came down to the docks to invite 3 sailors home for Saturday lunch. He regretted this generosity for the rest of his life. Dad returned to Glasgow after the war, and I was eventually born there. This is how War shapes lives.

On this Remembrance Day, I think about Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, standing ceremonial watch outside of the Canadian War Memorial in Ottawa. Cpl. Cirillo served in the Argyll  and Sutherland Highland Regiment . He was gunned down as he stood safely at ease, after serving in Helmand Province in Afghanistan, the killing zone. Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent was run over and killed near his barracks in Quebec earlier in the week. Both were murdered by acolytes of an ideology gaining ground among marginalized, disenfranchised youth.

Patrice Vincent  Nathan Cirillo

From pitched battles to trench warfare to guerrilla warfare to the current insurgencies and proxy battles of lone wolves and drone warfare…

And of course, War breeds spies, from ancient regimes to fictional Britain’s’ Cold War-weary George Smiley and America’s War on Terror, bipolar Carrie Mathison. Perhaps traitorous mole Bill Hayden said it best when explaining his betrayal to Smiley in John le Carre’s Tinker,Tailor, Soldier Spy: “We were bluffed, George. You, me, even Control. Those Circus talent spotters, all those years ago. They plucked us when we were golden with hope, told us we were on our way to the Holy Grail… freedom’s protectors!”

We have always commemorated War in stone and bronze and oil on canvas. My fondest wish is that we will also continue to fight for and commemorate Peace and Freedom, but at the same time remember the history that has brought us here.