Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 10

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

boris-and-natasha1

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, have spent much of the last two weeks curled up in a fetal ball, unable to come to grips with the fact that America has a new President-Elect – and it is Donald Trump. Am inducting Don The Con as our RCIHOF Lifetime Achievement winner.

Election 2016 has sucked the life out of me, and am sure many of you too. The corrosive divisiveness of Trump’s campaign rhetoric, combined with the avalanche of dezinformatsiya that culminated in the unprecedented interference of FBI Director James Comey at the 11th hour, was too much to bear. Oh yes, there is also the matter of the Hillary Clinton winning the Popular Vote by the largest margin in history… and the Electoral College.

trump-obama

American mainstream and cable media disgraced themselves over the past 18 months by responding to all the dog-whistles,conspiracy theories and fake news stories. They overlooked the BIGGEST story of the century. I have my own conspiracy theory, please indulge me here. I believe that Vladimir Putin compromised Donald Trump, Julian Assange ergo Wikileaks, and others in and outside of the US government, to subvert the results of the American Election. How convenient that NSA whistleblower/traitor Edward Snowden is now living in the Moscow area.

It hit me when I was lying on the sofa, listlessly channel surfing to numb the pain. I started watching old reruns of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.Who knew Rocky and Bullwinkle were prescient when they introduced us to Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale from 1959-1964. What we fell in love with as children is now an eerie but delicious metaphor: Putin is Fearless Leader, bent on nothing short of total World Domination; Trump is his inept pawn and buffoon Boris Badenov and Melania Trump is the Putin honey-pot Natasha Fatale.

boris-and-natasha1

Putin: I put my evil genius mind to work At last I have the answer

Melania: You are so bad you’re good!

Trump: It is good to be bad!

Speaking of being compromised by Putin, Green Party Leader  Jill Stein and Trump National Security Advisor pick Lt. General Mike Flynn joined Fearless Leader in Moscow for a propaganda soiree,earlier this year. What could possibly go wrong with that? Governor Gary Johnson didn’t need any help from the Kremlin to sabotage his own pathetic campaign. Who can forget his “What’s Aleppo?” moment. Both he and Stein managed to syphon off a small percentage of the vote from Hillary Clinton. Many of those angry Bernie Sanders protest voters helped Putin hand Trump the victory on a platter. And how about those voting machine hacks…

flynn-putin-moscow

So now, we have the new dog and pony show with Jill Stein soliciting millions of dollars to force a recount in at least three swing-states and a panic about the Electoral College confirmation on December 19 . Frankly, I don’t have enough cases of single malt on hand to make it through until then.

What if the election results are overturned? What if Trump is disqualified for any of a thousand reasons before Inauguration Day in January??? The thought of a potential Mike Pence presidency is equally terrifying – perhaps that was the plan all along. All I see when I look at that man is a white sheet with pointy hood…

mike-pence-conversion-therapy-meme

And so we lurch from day to day and crisis to crisis as Cirque Du Toupee rolls on… a whirlwind of chaos, leaving total destruction wherever it goes. The GOP has been hijacked by its most racist, homophobic, evangelical, misogynist elements – or maybe it has reverted to its true form. A narcissistic, bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon who cannot stop looking in the mirror at his own reflection may indeed become the 45th President of the United States. Would somebody please wake us from this horrific nightmare!

dt-putin-mirror-david-horsey

 

Many Thanks to David Horsey @davidhorsey  for his Trump/Putin cartoon and  for his Mike Pence meme

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 9

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

twitter-logo

F**K TWITTER! 

There, I’ve said it. In the strongest terms possible. Miss Myrtle does not use foul language unless there is no other choice.

Have officially inducted Twitter into The Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame, and am devoting the entire blogpost to them.

For the second time in 6 weeks Twitter has seen fit to lock my account. Was unable to tweet the Vice Presidential Debate last night, or anything today. The last time this happened, the account was down for 72 hours.

Just received the following  email from Twitter Support illuminati. They state my account has been unlocked. IT HAS NOT.

@MissMyrtle2

Hello,

Your account is now unlocked, and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.

Twitter has automated systems that find and remove automated spam accounts and it looks like your account got caught up in one of these spam groups by mistake. This sometimes happens when an account exhibits automated behavior in violation of the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules).

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience. Please do not respond to this email as replies will not be monitored.

Thanks,

Twitter Support

I stand accused of exhibiting “automated behavior” – a crime obviously punishable by a slow and excruciating death in earlier times. Twitter is a legend in its own mind, and as such has insulated itself from dealing with its pesky users on a true Customer Service basis. You cannot speak with a Twitter human you must use their on-line forms to plead your case and they will get back to you whenever they feel like it.

Dear Twitter, One Algorithm Does NOT Fit All. 

Had just sent a very strong tweet to Donald Trump surrogate General Flynn and not long thereafter the account was blocked. Had also sent multiple tweets to the GOP, Senate GOP, House GOP, Speaker Ryan, Reince Prebus (whose name reminds me of a stray pubic hair), Trump Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway, Trump surrogates Newt Gingrich (never trust a grown man willingly going through life with the name Newt) Governor Chris Christie and others.

Have also been tweeting about Vladimir Putin and Sergey Lavrov regarding the bombing of Syria and its children, into oblivion. And Russia’s aggression in Ukraine/Crimea.

So here is the thing. ANYONE who believes that the Russian hacking and monitoring of the US election and beyond, is not a reality and a SERIOUS one, needs to rethink that position.

There is an insane madman out to control the World, and for once, I am not talking about Donald Trump. Vladimir Putin has crawled forth from a primordial swamp and is determined to Make Russia Great Again. Which in his case means Back To The Gulag.

In World Wars One and Two, the enemies were clear, The Kaiser, Adolf Hitler. During the Cold War it was Stalin. Now, the Enemy is hidden. Cyber warfare has turned the battlefield upside down and no one has used this more astutely for greater self-interest than Vladimir Putin. He and China have turned cyber warfare into an art-form.

Throw into this toxic brew the recent explosion of social media and its global impact, and you have set the stage for an ongoing drama. Social Media has driven the 24/7 news cycle – not the other way around. It disseminates information and dis-information at the speed of light.

Dezinformatsiya is an old KGB term for spreading false information of all kinds, to undermine your enemy. One of my favorite authors, John Le Carre, created one of the greatest unglamorous, brilliant and world-weary spies of all time, George Smiley. Smiley oversaw the British effort to shut down The Soviet Union’s Cold War spy apparatus.He was a metaphor for the decline of the British Empire, amongst other things.

The Cold War never really ended, despite what Reaganites would have you believe. It has just entered a new and equally dangerous phase. Former KGB agent Vladimir Putin has assassinated or disappeared all serious Russian opposition at home and abroad, to make himself Emperor For Life. He is using cyber warfare to manipulate the US Presidential Election, in addition to supporting his candidate for President, Donald Trump. That is a whole other discussion for another time.

My questions for Twitter are this: Have you been compromised by Russian hackers in the following ways:

  1. They create spam  characteristics for Twitter Accounts that are critical of Russia and Vladimir Putin. You lock these accounts.
  2. They ficticiously report abuse by Twitter Accounts that are critical of Russia and Vladimir Putin. You lock these accounts.
  3. What are you doing to prevent AND deal with this.
  4. Can you assure users that they can trust Twitter to deal with this.
  5. Why do you give Twitter users no recourse to deal with their accounts being  locked other than online forms that are rarely responded to efficiently or effectively.

One Algorithm Does NOT Fit All

 

whatamaroon

In Praise of Political Cartoonists Part 1

Dearies, as a wee girl from Glasgow, Scotland growing up in Toronto Canada and ending up living in Vancouver, always loved comics. Beano, Archie, Superman and Batman…the list was endless.

Was of course a fan of Saturday morning cartoons on the telly. Even as a kid, was convulsed by the brilliance of Loony Tunes and Merrie Melodies. Chuck Jones and Bugs Bunny‘s “What a maroon!” remains one of my favorite sayings to this day.

The teenage me grew to love Mad Magazine

whatamaroon  MAD-Magazine-140-Patton-Cover

As my interest in Canadian, American, British, Australian and global politics evolved, became aware of the art of the political cartoon, and I was hooked. Am smitten, nay besotted. A cartoon is after all, a picture – whether static or celluloid. And a picture is indeed worth a thousand words.

Political cartoonists have always been our eyes, our ears, and truth be told – our voices.

Nothing made this clearer to me when 25 years ago, a dear friend loaned me an original folio of political cartoons by the great British caricaturist James Gillray, who was born in 1757. I was gobsmacked! Remember spending an entire 24 hours going over the large book, page by fragile page, referencing the illustrations to help me understand their meaning. In addition to being brilliant, flamboyant and very funny… these beautifully colored pen and inks (with some watercolors) were extremely daring. His toon of Napoleon and William Pitt carving up the world is even more relevant today than it was then!

Gillray’s predecessor, William Hogarth, was born in 1697. Hogarth was “a painter, pictorial satirist, social critic and editorial cartoonist. His work ranged from realistic portraiture to comic strip-like series of pictures called “modern moral subjects”.

James Gillray  Gillray England France Carving Up World  William Hogarth  Hogarth The Marraige Contract

Caricatures go back as far as The Renaissance and Leonardo Da Vinci b.1452 … He brilliantly used distorted features to mock his subjects.  Visual protest is evident in Lucas Cranach‘s work during The Reformation in Germany  b.1472

Leonardo Da Vinci  Da Vinci Caricature  Lucas Cranach  Lucas Cranach Anti-Christ

Thomas Rowlandson, born in England in 1756, never missed a beat in satirizing the socio/economic/political scene… from the thoughtful to the naughty

Thomas Rowlandson PortraitThomas_Rowlandson_The_two_Kings_of_TerrorThos Rowlandson 5rowlandson-thomas--eine-szene-aus-der-farce-citizen-793031

Ben Franklin, b.1706 was a true Renaissance Man himself, Ben Franklin’s Join or Die is a masterly cartoon of the times. Harper’s Weekly Review featured the caricatures of men like Alfred R. Waud who captured the tragedy of the Civil War

BenFrankin Ben Franklin Join or Die Cartoon  Alfred R Waud Civil WarCartoon Massacre of the Innocents at New Orleans 1866

Thomas Nast b.1840, was considered The Father of The American Cartoon. He captured both the corruption of Reconstruction and Tammany Hall.

Thomas Nast Pacific Chivallry Thomas NAst BOss Tweed

Louis Dalrymple b.1868 depicts Teddy Roosevelt’s New Diplomacy, embodying the iconic “Speak softly and carry a big stick”, for Puck Magazine in 1905. E.W. Kemble b.1861 who illustrated Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, also worked for Harper’s Weekly Review penned Roosevelt’s final frustration with “Old Man Ananias” in 1910.

Roosevelt New Diplomacy      Teddy Roosevelt Election

World War 1, World War 11:   Frank Henry Townsend complimented Britain’s Punch Almanack’s roster of illustrious cartoonists. Even our beloved Dr. Seuss got into the act with wartime cartoons.

Ww1 Cartoon / Punch    WW2 Dr Seuss

Vietnam Anti-War Cartoons:  North Carolina-born cartoonist Doug Marlette was killed in a car crash in 2007. Marlette felt that “Cartoons are windows into the human condition…It’s about life”. His principled take on life was reflected in his conscientious objector stance on the Vietnam War in some of the most poignant cartoons that I can remember. His long and illustrious career covered the Charlotte Observer, the Atlanta Constitution,  New York’s Newsday and the Tallahassee Democrat.

Vietnam Anti-War Marlette Charlotte Observer  Vietnam Quagmire - Marlette

I AM CHARLIE HEBDO:

It has always been dangerous to be a political cartoonist. Da Vinci risked loosing patrons and the wrath of The Church, as did artist Lucas Cranach. Harper’s Magazine Tammany critic Thomas Nast was threatened by supporters of Boss Tweed. But nothing has highlighted the perpetual risk of drawing for a living, than the recent massacre of artists at the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Paris. This tragedy has shaken us all to the core.

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo has become a global rallying cry. As it was centuries ago and so is now, caricaturists refuse to be intimidated.

charlie-hebdo  Rod-emmerson Charlie Hebdo

Iranian cartoonist, artist and activist Atena Farghadani was arrested in August 2014 for a cartoon that mocked Members of Parliament, depicting them with animal faces. Ms. Farghadani is charged with insulting The Supreme Leader and spreading propaganda. The 28-year-old, described by Amnesty as a prisoner of conscience, languishes in Tehran’s notorious Evin prison, having suffered a heart-attack earlier this year. On May 19, 2015 Ms. Farghadani was sentenced to 12 years and nine months in prison. It is difficult to reconcile this with the push to collaborate with Iran on a nuclear deal.  We must keep up the pressure on the Iranian government to secure Atena’s safe release. **

Atena Farghadani  Atena Farghadani Iranian Cartoon

So given the inherent dangers, not stellar salaries and relentless 24/7 news cycle, what exactly inspires political cartoonists to pick up the pen or brush these days? There is a far-flung family of artists from around the globe who share their thoughts with us on a daily basis. And of course we in The Colonies are some of the most brutal.

In Part 2 of In Praise of Political Cartoonists, I look forward to sharing the members of this historical family with you. Will titillate you now with some gems from the current global political scene:

Dave Weigel of Bloomberg Politics, calls Donkey Hotey “The Margaret Keane of Political Cartooning” He describes Donkey Hotey by saying “Nast used pen and ink; Donkey Hotey takes public images and alters them into parody or horror. He quotes DK… “I am remixing images, manipulating them and then treating the entire piece as a whole.”

Donald Trump Pence GOP Clown Car donald trump senate hostages

Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott continues to provide David Rowe with endless toon fodder. Rowe’s watercolors (the most difficult medium to work in) are brilliant, brutal, and beautiful. Rowe is a Stanley Award-winner and Aussie, who casts his paint far afield.

Tony Abbott Balls David Rowe Toon Donald Trump GOP CANCER DAVID ROWE AUSTRALIA

Raising a Glass of Champers to Political Cartoonists Everywhere…and Those Sail With Them. Long May Your Voices (and Ours)  Be Heard!

In Praise of Political Cartoonists Part 2 coming soon

@MissMyrtle2  missmyrtle2@gmail.com

** Please sign and share #FreeAtena http://www.amnesty.org.uk/iran-atena-farghadani-prison-cartoon-womens-rights-activist#.VYo2N_lViko

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 8

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

OMG, Iowa Caucuses are really over and the “Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain” folks have spoken. Firstly, let me say that as a Canadian, this is one of the things I love about American politics. It is messy, it is exasperating, entertaining and for the most part, it is all out there. We Canucks are more politically anally retentive as demonstrated by the former fascist Stephen Harper government, which shut down all national debate and discussion…but I digress.

Donald Trump

Cirque Du Toupee was handed a humiliating defeat at the hands of Ted Cruz.  Showing fake humility when conceding, Donald Trump reverted to form in a relentless and hysterical twitter rant the next morning calling Cruz a liar and cheat, and demanding a do-over. Revealed for the sniveling whiner that he is, Cirque Du Toupee is heading for implosion. and its going to be UGE! Ted Cruz, that picture-perfect Tea Party evangelical prays to a GOP Jesus who is so hateful it is embarrassing. Perhaps he comes by that genetically.  Cruz’s father Rafael is a Cuban emigre and RWNJ evangelical preacher who encourages congregants to “tithe mightily”. Speaking of tithing mightily, Ted is married to Heidi Cruz, a Goldman Sachs investment manager. Needless to say. Goldman Sachs has been a big Cruz Campaign supporter. Add the fact that Ted is mucho unpopular in Congress and out, and he fits in perfectly into the GOP Clown Car.

Donald Tump Toon Varvel   Ted Cruz

Uncle Ben Carson DID NOT QUIT THE RACE but has yet to show up in New Hampshire. Apparently he flew to Florida because he needs a change of clothes, a nap and Plan B. Oh, and he’s furious with Ted Cruz…whose campaign apparently spread rumors that he had quit. Honestly Dearies, I can’t make this stuff up and it truly isn’t brain surgery. The GOP and GOP Clown Car are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Ben Carson

Here in Beautiful British Columbia, Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing Christy Clark posed for yet another cheesy photo op after FINALLY being dragged kicking and screaming to sign legislation to preserve our Great Bear Rain Forest and the iconic Spirit Bear. First Nations, for whom the Rain Forest has been home for thousands of years, are also its guardians. As part of the Rainforest Solutions Project, they have relentlessly pursued The Great Bear Rainforest Order on our behalf. See the link to Elizabeth McSheffrey‘s excellent article in the National Observer, below. You know an election is on the horizon next year, because taking a page from the Fourth Reich & Stephen Harper playbook, warm fuzzy TV ads are playing relentlessly, telling us how wonderfully Christy has NOT been doing for BC children and families…The Bigger The Lie

Great Bear RainForest

WTF is up with the NFL? They are still partnered with that paragon of slave labor Papa John’s Pizza for the Super Bowl. Papa John’s Owner John Schnatter was successfully sued by New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, for amongst other things, wage theft. Shame on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell & Co. Methinks we probably won’t be seeing any public service announcements about concussions, during the game…

Roger Goodell   PAPA JOHNSJohn Shnatter and Peyton Manning

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Shepherdsville Kentucky’s classy Mayor Scott Ellis who admitted to soliciting & receiving sex in return for helping parolees, but defiantly refused to resign. “I needed a blowjob” said Hiz Honor. His partners in crime, Bullitt County Sheriff’s Office  fired Detective Lynn Hunt after she uncovered enough evidence to arrest Ellis. Special Prosecutor Mark Shouse “went where the evidence took me” – NOT. The Good Ole’ Boys Club is alive and well in Shepherdsville Kentucky Y’All! Joining Ellis in hell is anti-abortion rights activist and sweet little old lady, Pat Lohman who secretly bought abortion clinics and lured in poor and vulnerable clients who thought they were Pro-Choice. Once there, potential clients were struck by the wrath of god and persuaded not to have an abortion. See the link to Petula Dvorak‘s article in the Washington Post, below. Am willing to bet my life that Pat Lohman would be horrified if you suggested that she take financial care of all of the poor babies she forces into this world. Hallelujah and pass the poverty!

Scott Ellis    Dvorak__1331454537890

Hell-bound too is Martin Shkreli, the Wall Street PharmaScum appeared before a congressional committee this week and smirked his way through the hearing about pharmaceutical price gouging and his companies Valeant Pharmaceuticals International Inc. and Turing Pharmaceuticals AG.  Of course Shkreli invoked the Fifth.  He later tweeted that committee-members were imbeciles. It is comforting to know that this scumbag will probably be convicted on unrelated federal fraud charges. Dare I suggest that Shkreli is a text-book narcissistic sociopath-which describes so many on Wall Street. Am sure his bravado will quickly fade in the general prison population with his new boyfriends…

Martin Shkreli AP_martin_shkreli_as_04_160204_4x3_992

Am nursing a migraine after discussing all of this buffoonery. There is never a shortage of Inductees, on the contrary too many and too little space.

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for future Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame… Your input is invaluable! And Keep The Flag Flying @MissMyrtle2

Many Thanks to The Looney Tunes Show, Political Cartoonist Varvel, @NYDailyNews  Elizabeth McSheffrey @NatObserver @emcsheff  http://www.savethegreatbear.org/region/first_nations, Petula Devorak @petulad @washingtonpost http://wpo.st/HAS91 @RawStory

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 7

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Well Dearies, The Bundy Militia Stand-Off in Oregon has entered a new phase. Ammon Bundy and 5 of his posse were arrested en route to a community meeting in the city of John Day. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed.  As someone tweeted, at least he provided his own body-bag (he was Blue Tarp Man – sitting under a blue tarp with a gun in his lap, during the Occupation).  Here’s hoping that Orange will be the new Bundy Black, but it’s anyone’s guess where things go from here. Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts even made Ammon his very own doughnut…

Voodoo Donuts Ammon Bundy DOnut

Speaking of Orange being the new Black,  Karma has finally bitten David Dalieden and Sandra Merritt in the butt. Harris, Texas DA Devon Anderson turned the tables on these slimy creators of the notorious fake Planned Parenthood videos, and instead of indicting that organization, indicted Dalieden and Merritt, for tampering with government files. Their Center for Medical Progress twitter feed has gone silent. In all fairness, this delicious and ironic twist has been a long time in coming. When I open Miss Myrtle’s  Heroes Hall of Fame, Ms. Anderson will be one of the first Inductees.

david-daleiden-susan-merritt-e1453764045101

In the Bizzaro World of Donald Trump, Cirque Du Toupee just received an endorsement from Sarah Palin, and although I can not decipher its total meaning (cracking the Enigma Code was tougher – with apologies to Alan Turing), have no doubt that she is angling for a spot on The Ticket. Trump/Palin 2016 has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it. Ms. Palin had to leave her endorsement press conference to go bail out here wayward son Track Palin, who had just been arrested for domestic violence. But not before she blamed President Obama for her son’s behaviour and PTSD. Sarah has been busy, what with her unmarried daughter Bristol, spokesperson for Abstinence Is Us, giving birth to a second grandchild over the Holidays.  I for one, am salivating at the prospect of a Trump/Palin run. They are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Trump Palin Im With Stupid Track Palin1 palin-pregnant-daughter

Meanwhile, back here in Beautiful British Columbia, Premier Christy Clark, our very own Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing is busy posing for cheesy photo-ops with Search and Rescue Teams whose budgets SHE CUT…crowing about the paltry thousands she is graciously giving them. She is also trying to ram through the Kinder Morgan Pipeline Project, transporting Alberta Tar Sands sludge through much of pristine BC, to the Coast, and on to the rapacious Asian market. This is the same broad who wanted to close a major connector, The Burrard Bridge, for yoga classes. Talk about downward dog…

Christy Clark BC Tourism Caribou

While I usually rant about one corporation or another, have given this space to the imploding Republican Party. The Grand Old Party has Teddy Roosevelt, and so many others, turning over in their graves. As Republican Party National Committee Chairman Reince Prebus so blithely tweets… “Great job Gov Nikki Haley! Fantastic balance and substance. Our party is the new, young and diverse party!” – in response to President Obama‘s final State of the Nation address. Balance and substance are the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is. The carnage wrought upon American cities and states by GOP troglodytes  is truly breath-taking…The Bigger The Lie! The GOP has lost its moral compass.

GOP Toon NEw Yorker  PRO REPUBLICAN REINCE PREBUS

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, who is trying to spin his way out of the fact that he poisoned tens of thousands of Flint residents, many of whom are from the black community, while crowing about saving millions as a tough Republican wise-ass. Social advocate and brilliant documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has launched an #ArrestGovSnyder twitter campaign that we all must support.The Flint Water Crisis underscores the fact that the GOP have not only lost their way, they have lost their moral compass. Re-christened his twitter moniker @onetoughnerd to @onetoughturd.

Flint Pat Bagely

Joining him in Hell, is James Monroe High School Principal Brendan Lyons. Lyons forced the resignation of beloved and award-winning teacher Tom Porton, in the Bronx. Porton, who is a National Teachers Hall of Fame Inductee, has been honored by the City of New York and The Kennedy Centre for The Arts. His legion of student-supporters grows every year. His ground-breaking and life-changing AIDS activism put him at loggerheads with Brendan Lyons, who needs to go and stand in the corner! Meanwhile, Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin was found “almost certain” to have ordered the polonium poisoning of yet another political critic Alexander Litvinenko by the official British inquiry into his murder. The bodies of journalists and others who oppose Putin’s quest for nothing less than total world domination, continue to pile up.

  Tom Porton      Brendan Lyons   Litivenenko 

Honestly Dearies, my head is exploding and it is only January 29, 2016. The Iowa Caucus is on Monday. There are times when I wish I could just go into a coma until November 8. Must break out the Talisker and have a dram or 5. Part 8 to follow soon.

Many Thanks To:  Looney Tunes, Daryl Cagle @dcagle Barry Blitt http://barryblitt.com/, The New Yorker @NewYorker Pat Bagley @Patbagley

Links You May Find Interesting:  @Ammon_Bundy  @christyclarkbc  @CtrMedProgress @onetoughnerd

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for new Inductees: @MissMyrtle2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 6

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, am still reeling and recovering from 2015. It was a horrific year on every front. Am raising a glass of champers in memory of those we lost in Paris, San Bernardino, Charleston, Umpqua, Garissa University, and everywhere our loved ones have been taken from us by gun violence.

Raising another glass to us all, in the hopes that 2016 will be an improvement.

That fervent hope was dashed when Ammon and Ryan Bundy and their Bundy Militia “occupied” the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in  Princeton, Oregon, ostensibly to air land-ownership grievances. This bumbling insurrection spawned the outstanding twitter hashtags #YokelHaram #YallQueda #Talibanjo and many more. The Citizens for Constitutional Freedom began running low on supplies last week and sent out an urgent request to supporters – #SendSnacks. Honestly Dearies, I could not make this up. When care packages began arriving with French Vanilla coffee cream and sex toys, reluctantly coined my own hashtag… #DildosAreUs.

AmmosexualsBundy Militia Toon John Cole   Bundy Militia Recruits Arrive TY IamBlueTrek

That other family Gong Show, fondly known as the GOP Clown Car Presidential Campaign rolls blithely on. The Illuminati continue trying to outrageously outdo one another, but Cirque Du Toupee aka Donald Trump has cornered the market on Hate Fear and Lies . His Hate List has grown from Mexicans/hispanics, blacks, women, workers, unions, The New York Times and yadda yadda yadda, to include Muslims and whatever bogeyman next appears on the horizon . This bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon continues to confound the political pundits. The GOP don’t have the balls to stand up to him. If only Donald Trump’s grasp of The Constitution were as his firm embrace of Mein Kampf...

Donald Trump Putin Horse BFFsAffluenza-duo  Mad Magazine

NEVER has there been a field of Republican incompetents like this one! Ted Cruz of Canadian Birther fame, has just been endorsed by that great patriot Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. Carly Fiorina ground Hewlett-Packard and other companies into the dust as CEO and decided that qualified her to lead The Greatest Nation on Earth. Brain surgeon Ben Carson has apparently gone off his psych meds, and visited Egypt’s Pyramids… oops grain silos, to improve his foreign policy grasp, while Mike Huckabilly palled around with Josh Duggar and Kim Davis, and visited The Flintstones, er, I mean Afghanistan. The list goes on and on and on.

2016_Republican_Clown_Car_Parade_-_Trump_Exta_Special_Edition_(18739683269)

Here in Canada, we are greeting the New Year with hope, having relegated despot Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party to the dustbin of history. The Liberals and Justin Trudeau have the daunting task of restoring Democracy, bolstering an economy of life-support (Harper put all of Canada’s eggs in the Oil Industry Basket) and returning Canada to its rightful place in the community of nations. While I didn’t vote for Trudeau, certainly wish he and The Team well. Tea Party North flyweights Rona Ambrose, Jason Kenney, Michelle Rempel and the rest of  The Can’t Shoot Straight Gang oppose Trudeau at every turn…pretending they didn’t create the mess we find ourselves in. I have a suggestion for these imbeciles – STFU!

Cons Lose Cartoon Malcolm Mayes Tory Caucus

Talk about timing, it’s Oscar Season and The Big Short is now on big-screens everywhere. How appropriate then, that the beacon of Wall Street integrity and financial acumen, Goldman Sachs starts the New Year with a $5 billion dollar settlement for selling fraudulent mortgages, helping to precipitate the Financial Crisis of 2008. Honestly Dearies, GS is The Gift That Keeps On Giving. As does Volkswagen. The US Department of Justice is seeking up to $48 billion dollars in fines for cheating on auto emissions tests. Das Auto … Das Bullshit!

Goldman Sachs Toon Joe Heller  Vokswagen Toon John Darkow

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Bashar Al Assad. Having decimated and dessicrated Syria,  Assad has murdered more than a quarter of a million of his people, many of them children. He has precipitated an international refugee crisis the likes of which have never been seen. The deliberate and calculated starving of Madaya, Foua and Kfaryawere, is unprecedented since Josef Stalin. And the World again stands by and does NOTHING. Joining Assad in Hell is his enabler, Vladimir Putin, who in his maniacal quest for world domination, continues to bomb Syrian children and their families into oblivion. He has also crossed another political opponent off of his Hit List. Author and political commentator Vladimir Pribylovsky was murdered in Moscow earlier this week. Of course there is NO suspect in the crime.  Our final Place in Hell  is reserved for Republican Governor Rick Snyder, who callously and with deliberate calculation allowed the mainly black citizens of Flint, Michigan to be poisoned by their own water. From railing against the Federal government and crowing his own successes, this pathetic hypocrite is now whining for Federal aid while the Flint Water Crisis deepens. As that great filmmaker and social commentator Michael Moore says… #ArrestGovSnyder.

Assad David Simonds bertrams-putin Gov Snyder Mike Thonmpson

We are only halfway through January 2016 and my head is ready to explode Dearies. Will leave it there, crack open a bottle of single malt and ponder the meaning of existence. There are so many potential Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame… and so little time! Your suggestions are always welcome.

Thank You Cartoonists John Cole, Dave Granlund, Donkey Hotey, Malcolm Mayes, Joe Heller, John Darkow, David Simonds, Joep Bertrams, Mike Thompson